Sometimes it doesn’t feel as if I can send enough of whoever I happen to be today in a simple envelope. I send you scribbled words on notepaper, I send gifts, CDs I have painstakingly sequenced for you. Yet these are only elements of this person before you. The merest droplets of character. I want […]
Auto colour. Auto contrast. Auto level. (No. No auto level.) Blur. Dodge. Clone stamp. Gradient. Blur. Blur more. Gaussian blur. Add filter. Add noise. Add colour. Remove colour. Add noise. Add dust and scratches. Sharpen. Stylize. I think I’m there now. I am about as far away as I can get from the plain and […]
I stutter and tumble over the words. There’s nothing strange about you. Nothing strange about me. We’re just like each other. Peas in a pod. Hand in glove. Birds of a feather. What am I saying? Link fingers and dance with me, why don’t you? I feel everything when you’re broken, just as you do when […]
I suppose it was inevitable that the choice for the first entry on this part of An Unreliable Witness would end up being between a novel from a Japanese writer or a melancholic song. However, since I’m currently trying to identify the melancholic side of my music collection — and kidding myself that there is […]
It was some weeks ago that I took the precious jewel from the box in which I hide it — a box which I usually only open when there are thoughts of you and me and us and them whirling through my mind before the break of day. I’ve now rubbed the jewel so soft […]
No, you stand corrected. This isn’t our world. This is much more. This is our universe. You just don’t realise it. We outnumber you by at least ten to one — it’s just that we keep very quiet about that fact. We refuse to subscribe to your way of thinking, but we do so in […]
I feel as if I’m at a film premiere. My senses are being assaulted on a daily basis by spangled stars and glitter. Everywhere I look there are shiny surfaces and metallic reflection. Everyone is inwardly pleading, “Notice me, notice me. I’m special. I’m shiny. I’m more than the sum of my parts. I’m more […]
“Don’t analyse it to death. It’s only blogging.” It was 11.00am this morning when I sat down in front of my laptop and put those four words into the title field of this entry. As I write these opening lines, It’s now just past 9.00pm at night. No, obviously I haven’t spent ten hours typing […]
Unforgiveably, perhaps, I have decided that I would be a superb drug addict. I am fascinated by the path that substances take through my bloodstream, and the effects of them entering my nervous system, my brain, my mind. How did this happen? When was I consumed by these responses? I can sense, deeply sense, the unbreakable […]
Bulgarian female choirs serenade me in my room, their unearthly wailing almost managing to drown out the Saturday morning shoppers and traffic outside. Sometimes I regret the stupidity that caused me to miss out on learning a foreign language, but not at a moment like this, when I can hear nonsense sentences created in the […]