Where does all the time go? Sixty seconds have already happened, lost back there somewhere, and I’ve barely begun. Damn this ceaseless, onward march. I know, I know it all very well, via more years of experience than I wish to catalogue right here and right now, since we’ve only got a few minutes left. […]
Caught, trapped, wrapped and woollen bound in a complete whiteout, a winter wonderland of sorts, with my fingers little more than a faded monochrome mere millimetres from my face. I can almost believe that nothing else exists — that nothing else ever existed — beyond my protective wall of rusting wire. The ever-buzzing hive, the thriving […]
Dear You, Give or take a day or two, and more or less half a memory away, it struck me this afternoon, like a forceful blow to the back of the neck from a malevolent spirit, that it has been a full year since this still regrettably one-sided correspondence began. Such thoughts frequently occur to me […]
It is going to be a long day. A very long day indeed. As I sit here, mentally steeling myself for a five-hour ‘business event’ that is surely going to be the 21st century equivalent of one of Leni Riefenstahl’s films of a Nazi rally — only slightly less enjoyable, and with none of the […]
I cannot control my skin, so I etch on it for temporary relief. Scratch out the feverish, black-bloodied letters onto the milky white. I should get out more, or else fade into so much greying and decaying and gone, finely dusted. The nib bumps over the dry, flaky surface. Don’t scratch, don’t itch, don’t retch, […]
Can you? Can you hear? Is this working? Thing on? Is this on? Is this thing on? Tap tap tap. No sound, nothing. Good. Click track and rewind. Press button and rewind. Start again. Start over. Start start start and startle me. Start again. Start over. Over already, before we begin. Start. Shall we start? […]
Dear You, First, a preamble. If you prefer, you may ignore this part and skip straight to the meat of the matter, since I know all too well how you quickly tire of my characteristic verbosity. I am becoming a creature of habit, I see that now. I should stop writing to you, I see […]
The following is almost certain to prove a disastrous experiment in ‘blogging’ (whatever that is) the inane details of my everyday life, but apparently it’s what we are supposed to do under the rules of international law. This exercise in tedium will continue throughout today. Or until I get utterly bored. Or until I lose […]
As an eminent blogging type person who is on the A-list — oh sorry, that should read “on a list” — I often receive emails from companies wishing to take advantage of some of the passing trade that might be provided by you, my huge retinue of ardent, swooning and no doubt exceptionally moist readers. […]
“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been thirty-six years, three months and nineteen days since my last confession. Yes, sorry about that. All I remember is a dark tunnel, a sudden blinding light, and then a smack on the arse followed by a lot of crying and howling, and after that everything […]
This is hopefully going to be a very short-lived series — of one — mainly because I will soon be too old and decrepit to write lists, due to my senile mind failing before the second item. You know you’re getting old when you go to a hip ‘n’ happenin’ rock gig (oh God, I […]
“Haven’t we met before, under brighter skies above?” It was nothing more than a nod of acceptance, a vague echo of understanding and a limp, nervous handshake, yet the sub-text of a single question would echo on for days. A memory somehow came alive, even though it had still to be lived in its entirety […]