Too many thoughts this evening, this dusk, this night. Overwhelmed by them. So overwhelmed that they merge into a single, tangible thought that beats like a human heart ripped untimely from its bloody chamber, yet no less treasured because of that. You know how it is. You always do. Yes, I’m addressing you, even though I […]
There are bodies of words all over the place. As I slept — or tried to sleep — last night, they obviously invited themselves round for a party at my considerable expense. They are now sleeping in drawers, in corners of cupboards, behind furniture, splayed lewdly over every available surface. They are breathing loudly, mumbling […]
In a concerted effort to avoid examining my navel quite so much — delightful though it is, and no doubt filled with the most delicious remnants of fluff (no, I haven’t tasted it, I promise) — I am going to endeavour, just occasionally, to cast my eyes beyond the four walls of my fifth floor […]
Dear You, I have terrible, wonderful news. Terribly, the clocks are going forward an hour tomorrow evening. You tell me, meanwhile, that they are going back an hour the morning after. I think that’s the order of our disorder. Or is our time on this mortal coil moving forward an hour and back an hour at […]
Unaccustomed as I am to providing either links to other content on the web (so old-fashioned, and I know you’d much rather read my formless, ill-supported prose instead) or entries about matters of a geeky technical nature, I thought I should draw your attention to some important information concerning the emergency action to take if […]
Look closely, and you might notice something different. If you arrived at this URL expecting to find this site’s usual front page containing links to three blogs — Writing, Scribbling and Engaging — then your eyes are not deceiving you. An Unreliable Witness is now just one blog. How very mainstream and traditional of me. Why? […]
Lately, I have found myself feeling very Nihilistic and Negative, despite somehow giving the outward appearance of being sickeningly positive. So remember, when you get that sudden sense of Nausea every time I’m near, that the Little Ray Of Fucking Sunshine act is not for real. It’s merely your misinterpretation. Mostly, however, I have been […]
It’s a book! It has blogs! It has shagging! (Oh, it’s actually shaggy, but who has ever let truth come in the way of saying something vaguely salacious?) It has laughs! It has giggles! It has red noses! It comes in a fetching shade of green! It features “blog celebrities”, whatever they are, but more […]
This white wall. I stare down this runway, psyching myself up. Concentrate. Think. One thing at a time. No more than one. There’s no rush. Yet there is, because I have been here long enough. This film was a disaster that became a blockbuster and has now become the most tedious epic ever to grace the […]
If I had ever thought to lie awake at night and ponder what a fly might sound like when heard from a distance of approximately ten thousand miles away, I would have just received my answer. It sounds buzzy. There. In fact, it sounds almost exactly like a fly does if it is buzzing right […]
Dear You, My apologies for the continued lack of any handwritten missive winging its way to you across the briny. As I attempted to explain in my most recent clumsily garbled sentences, this is due to a sizeable increase in the amount of conversation I have been indulging in (an entirely unfamiliar concept to me), […]
One. Two. Three. Tell me more. “Other people weep, but I just need a little something to make me sleep” is what the weariest of voices murmurs from inside a cacophony of noiseless sounds. I play his words again and again, in the desperate hope that they will destroy the footsteps dancing their endless oblivion sequence […]
I’d like to begin this entry by offering up an undoubtedly offensive picture of an alcoholic. Why offensive? Well, because the image to the right of this text portrays a classic stereotype of such a person and, as such, is neither big, nor clever, nor intrinsically funny. But in this case I think the picture […]
I am fascinated by sleep. How it breathes, how it rhymes, how it reasons, how it tastes. The momentary lapses it takes in the spaces between each breath. You have taught me this and that and so much else. And all under the same moon, too. Somewhere at the other end of how long is a […]
Despite the number of years that I’ve been wearing this deep groove into the blogging treadmill, I still don’t appear to have grasped the fundamental point that us bloggers are really not half as important as they/we think they/we are. Nor the fundamental point that the sum total of someone’s existence is not greatly enhanced […]