Technical hic

Unaccustomed as I am to providing either links to other content on the web (so old-fashioned, and I know you’d much rather read my formless, ill-supported prose instead) or entries about matters of a geeky technical nature, I thought I should draw your attention to some important information concerning the emergency action to take if you happen to spill wine on your laptop, since I know that many readers of this site are borderline winos and find it impossible to read my words without the assistance of alcohol. Understandable, really.

Now that I am the owner of a shiny Macbook Pro, I have been pondering what to do with my lumbering old PC laptop complete with its internal fan of almost industrial wind tunnel proportions. It occurs to me that using it as a testbed to measure a computer’s resistance to various dangerously addictive substances would be a fitting way for it to perish. Obviously, red wine splashed over the keyboard will be the first challenge. Further experiments may include:

• tequila in the DVD drive;
• cider in the battery compartment;
• LSD in the USB, purely for poetic acronym reasons;
• heroin stashed in the audio line in socket;
• and finally, absinthe vomited over the monitor screen.

True, the computer will be ruined. But to be quite honest, it won’t care.