Prescription: care. Take it when baring your soul. You swallow the sugar-coated tablets readily enough with a glass of lukewarm water, each placed fresh every morning on your grateful tongue, when you are fighting fierce to protect your inner core from the harmful effects of mere existence. Thus, you must increase the dosage all the […]
come in sit down no don’t sit down on second thoughts and third thoughts don’t sit down don’t even hover carefully in mid-air can I get you a glass of water something to drench no quench your parch have you travelled far of course you have I know you have you’ve travelled for years down […]
Whilst it is indeed true that I do own an extremely well-thumbed thesaurus, when indulging in yet another game of Scrabble I have also found that it greatly assists me in maintaining a winning rack of letters to think of the written inspiration provided by a select few personal publishing websites (or ‘blogs’, as I […]
Spotted: the first use of the highly exclusive, limited edition An Unreliable Witness Font v1.0 that I recently made available for download from this site. It comes courtesy of Anne from in the fray, who has successfully proved that with the application of considerable time, dedication and effort, you too can write like I do. […]
Dear You,
This letter may initially appear rather more muddled and weary than you have come to expect of my usually fastidiously ordered thoughts. I have only one somewhat pitiful justification for this. My tongue hurts.
Yes, I know that I do not write with my tongue (except for those occasional rude messages I might lick into the condensation […]
I looked under the carpet, but all I found was fluff and floorboards. I looked in the bottom of my glass, but all I found was a watery reflection. I looked in the envelope, but all I found were letters that fell out into perfectly disjointed words. I looked up at the altar, but all […]
Time is of the essence, and it would appear that I have fifty-seven minutes of essence remaining to me. Fifty-seven minutes. At the third stroke. Precisely.
There is a great temptation to use it all up at once, repeating familiar key patterns until they die out on the line, obsessive-compulsive in the extreme. Instead I ration myself, […]
There now follows a crucial explanation as to why I don’t take part in memes. And it’s not just because I’m still somewhat uncertain about whether the infuriating word is correctly pronounced as mee-mee, meh-may or meem.
The latest meme (sigh) to overtake the world of blogging appears to be an indulgent but frankly unwise exercise in […]
Just call me bountiful. First I gave you your very own badge with which to tell the world that you run nothing but the most civil, decent and upstanding of blogs by order of Her Majesty the Queen (or else she sends Prince Philip round with a hammer), and now I am making another highly […]
A number of kind correspondents have responded to the previous post’s ill-tempered demolishing of the Blogger’s Code of Conduct by asking, either in the comments or via email, whether they could use my rather tongue-in-cheek version of the ‘Civility Enforced’ badge on their site, thereby proudly proving to visitors that that their blog is indeed […]