Window of irritation

There now follows a crucial explanation as to why I don’t take part in memes. And it’s not just because I’m still somewhat uncertain about whether the infuriating word is correctly pronounced as mee-mee, meh-may or meem.

The latest meme (sigh) to overtake the world of blogging appears to be an indulgent but frankly unwise exercise in self-flagellation. Wide-eyed and hopeful owners of personal websites ask their dedicated readers to engage in a bout of personality awareness by selecting a few words from their Interactive Johari Window that they think describe the writer’s positive character traits.

Bad enough, you might think. But no, there’s worse. Much worse. Because at this point the blogger lies down in the dirt, rolls around and kicks their legs in the air, and screams “Go on! Do it! Beat me with sticks until I bleed! Prove that you love me, even though I know that you hate me!” as they appeal to their readers to select a series of words from their Nohari Window, which is intended to display a person’s character flaws and weaknesses.

Observation 1: I have long suffered from low self-confidence and poor self-esteem. I know this, thank you. I do not need to be told. I certainly do not need such feelings to be reinforced by the arbitrary views of other people, many of whom have never met me in real life.

Observation 2: I have noted that many bloggers display similarly insecure traits. I suppose it’s reassuring to know that I am not alone.

Question: So why in the name of Beelzebub would I want to encourage anyone in this dreadful world to analyse me either Joharily or Noharily? Do I look like some kind of masochist? Do I?

Comments: 23

    That is the cleverest meme I have ever read.

    But I’m still not doing it. No. I have told you before, on many a drunken evening: ‘You can roll about on the floor, waving your magnetic leg in the air, all you want, but I am not hitting you with a stick - yes I know it’s only a stick of celery but I’m still not doing it. And for God’s sake man, put your clothes back on!’

    andre | 04.18.07, 00:20

    One would guess that the person wishing to be “jo or no hari”-ed about was in a fragile state of mind and would make this obvious, thus wishing for universal praise, support and messages of love, or it could be the straw breaking their Capri-Sun…after which they climb a building and jump off, expecting to land in 1973.

    Blogging may sometimes seem like a bit of a search for praise and this is perhaps one way of getting that recognition…albeit from a bunch of random people on the internet, and not actually a real pat on the back.

    kate | 04.18.07, 00:47

    The words in the negative ‘Nohari’ window are more imaginative than I thought, at least - it would almost be a compliment to be described as ‘vulgar, vacuous and panicky’.

    annie | 04.18.07, 07:10

    I have lost all train of thought.

    Thanks andre.

    I’ll never look at a stick of celery the same way again.

    Gordon | 04.18.07, 08:14

    Andre - Er, I think I’ve fainted.

    Kate - What an intelligent comment, all the more so for being left at a quarter to one in the morning. A fragile state of mind, yes - this describes most bloggers, does it not?

    Annie - please let ‘vulgar, vacuous and panicky’ be the words you thought of as applicable to An Unreliable Witness. Please. I could use them for a review, then.

    Gordon - I bet you’re nibbling one tomorrow, albeit with a guilty conscience.

    An Unreliable Witness | 04.18.07, 08:24

    I bet I’m not.

    I mean I won’t have a guilty conscience but a deep longing…

    Gordon | 04.18.07, 08:45

    Sorry.

    I am not proud of my comment. Sorry.

    andre | 04.18.07, 09:35

    The Johari/Nohari meme was on livejournal about three years ago. I feel a sort of compulsion to point this out, if only to divert my attention from the thought of that magnetic leg waving in the air…

    And: what Kate said. I’m going to go and read her blog now..

    Cheerful One | 04.18.07, 09:38

    Amen and other such nondescript words of enthusiastic agreement!

    I had a look at it myself but couldn’t find many words that applied to me - where was ‘slatternly’? ‘Cantankerous’? ‘Fickle’?

    Jack | 04.18.07, 09:54

    I’m really confused.

    I’m also really really glad that I am not a blogger.

    It sounds very complicated.

    ps. How many Annie’s are there commenting here?

    annie | 04.18.07, 12:51

    Like Jack, I struggled to find words which related to my bad points. Like malevolent, megalomanic and murderous. In fact they had no bad points beginning with M at all.

    On a serious note, this is a ridiculous use of the of work of Luft and Ingham, which frankly wasn’t very useful in the first place. The objective is to discover the three elements of your personality; the “arena” (the you everyone knows), your “facade” (stuff you know about but we don’t) and your “blind spot” (the stuff we know about you but you don’t know about yourself).

    In theory there is also an “unknown” catergory; those things about your personality that neither you nor anybody else has any idea about, which has unknown potential to effect everything. Seriously.

    This is mostly used to help people in their jobs. For example, the nature of one’s facade and blind spot could be very important if you are manager struggling with a workforce. You may work hard to disguise your sensitive fluffy nature (your facade) but not realise you come across like a tyrant (your blind-spot).

    However, naturally these things are of dubious use. They require people to attempt to be objective about something which is inherrently subjective and to be honest under conditions of imperfect confidentiality. Though an on-line blog-related version opens it right up to any passing troll or sycophant, and defeats the object in an entirely different way.

    So that was the answer to your first question. To the others I am way too polite to say.

    The Goldfish | 04.18.07, 13:42

    I’ve found it quite useful so far in confirming that my blog has lost it’s original purpose and I’ve reverted to masking the aspects of me that I don’t think people will like.

    So there.

    Angelalala | 04.18.07, 15:37

    I picked it up from BoJo and since then it has run through the New York cohort like a bad curry.
    I have partaken myself, more out of curiosity than anything.
    Also, because only two people have done my ‘Nohari’ wossname that I now get to choose between considering myself not to have any bad qualities at all, or just that I am really really scary.

    Stuart | 04.18.07, 15:37

    Gosh.

    Reading my previous comment back, I think I need grammatical reconditioning, possibly in a camp in Siberia.

    I apologise for tainting these hallowed pages with such nonsensical constructions.

    Stuart | 04.18.07, 15:40

    a fragile state of mind” may apply to some people who write online, but many people writing web logs choose not to write about themselves, and perhaps just wish to write about subjects they like (football, cooked breakfasts, dancing, music, politics and the like). These posts, while being great and informative, sometimes don’t require a large amount of soul-searching to look for the best-fitting way to describe someting. (they’re possibly not the people to obtain jo-or-no-hari wotsits about their work!)

    I’d suggest that most people writing weblogs which offer an opening into their soul have felt that delicate state at some point, and this finds them both the muse to write with and use, and sometimes perhaps their own worst enemy, in the “post” and “delete” buttons.

    I like 1am. 2am is also nice, as is 3am. It’s nice and quiet and productive!

    kate | 04.18.07, 15:58

    I’m fairly sure it’s pronounced meh meh

    Fi | 04.18.07, 16:20

    Dear readers of An Unreliable Witness - I am astounded at these intelligent, thoughtful and carefully-considered responses, and can reply nothing except “gulp”, both because I am very impressed and feeling rather brain dead. Sorry.

    An Unreliable Witness | 04.18.07, 16:36

    Johari? Nohari? Wtf?

    (somebody had no do the non-carefully-considered response at some point)

    Timbo | 04.18.07, 18:09

    Baaaaaa

    andre | 04.18.07, 18:46

    Wothari? Pffft. Only some ready-made gimmick for those who can’t be bothered to provide original content and need an ego massage to boot. Bad combo. Plus I am a in vile mood - the inappropriate use of celery sticks always enrages me. Don’t wave it about people, juice it. It’s good for you. Honest.

    Ariel | 04.18.07, 21:24

    isn’t celery one of those foodstuffs, like lettuce and cucumber, that takes more effort to eat it than energy (or perhaps even happiness) that it gives out?

    especially the stringy bits. get stuck in the teeth.

    kate | 04.19.07, 01:43

    I hate the internet and all who sail in her.

    caite | 04.19.07, 12:26

    I’ve done a few memes over the years but I tend to avoid them these days. Sometimes people tag me though, and I’m quite polite so I usually oblige.

    Some are quite interesting, if they prompt you to think about some aspect of yourself that you hadn’t considered before. I’m not defending this particular one because it reminds me of some of those dreadful things they make you do at work, but I don’t think they’re all bad.

    That’s me. On the bloody fence again. *sigh*

    kate’s comments are very intelligent. I’m going to go and look at her blog too.

    I like caite’s comment too.

    anxious | 04.19.07, 18:24

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