Random acts of stationery #11

can i haz­ard a guess as to who this post might not be abooot?
no?
ok then

It’s about me. Like all the posts on An Unre­li­able Wit­ness. Me. Just me. Me me me. No one else. I am the most import­ant per­son on this blog. Oh yes. Me. Me me me me me me. Me.

There.

Ahem.

right

Coin­cid­ent­ally, you also have a pad­ded envel­ope com­ing to you by first class post.

Thank you. I am already sit­ting in a tent at my front door, listen­ing for the rattle of the let­ter­box. Mind you, if these hearts keep arriv­ing in the mail, I may have to vacate to a safe distance.

don’t lose heart. love may hurt but you have the know­ledge that you are able to love someone so completely…

Those are by far my favour­ite post its.

(Which I read as pos tits)

I shan’t be put­ting any­thing of the sort into an envelope.

As I often say to myself: Methinks she doth protest too much.

i’ve never met any­one who vomits

i’ve never met any­one who posts their heart in an envelope…

Sigh…

i’ve never met any­one who… any­one who… umm… nope it’s gone.

That was gonna be a GREAT comment…

Annie, Peach, Gordon:

Hello, I’m Unre­li­able Wit­ness. Pleased to make your acquaintance.

i’ve never known any­one to post vomit in an envelope.

miles away:

Hello, I’m … actu­ally, no, you’re right.

hearts, yes. boxes of love, yes. vomit, no. vimto, ribena and polos-yes.

how about post­ing some new shoes?

That’s love!

miles away — I had never noticed before, amaz­ingly, that ‘vomit’ is an ana­gram of ‘vimto’. That brings a whole new mean­ing to the shoes ques­tion, doesn’t it?

Clarissa — Yes, it is. It’s odd. And scary.

maybe it does. I’d think that buy­ing a new pair of shoes for someone who had vomit­ted on the shoes rather than vimto-ing on them woudl be a greater ges­ture, as i’m sure the per­son con­cerned would rather have vimto-smelling shoes, rather than vomit-smelling shoes.

But then again, they may really not like vimto. vimto, or vomit.…you decide!