Random acts of stationery #13

they are but mor­tal objects. what makes them come alive is much more important.

So ungrate­ful.

That’s a good heart that is, and they’re hard to find.

Fer­gal Shar­key if I’m not mistaken?

I would cer­tainly recom­mend it, espe­cially with a good chi­anti… *sfsfsfsfsfsf*

Miles Away — Very true. My heart is alive with the sound of music. Or are those the hills? I forget.

Angelalala & Lord Gar­funkel — I once saw Fer­gal Shar­key on the Pic­ca­dilly Line. It cured me of three years of lying awake at night won­der­ing, “Whatever happened to Fer­gal Sharkey?”

Edvard — I eat Han­ni­bals. (Ter­rible pun, that.)

you could have hills in your heart. uppy downy. and music! everything can be everywhere.

your words, your emo­tion, your feel­ings — it is pos­sible to have someone else’s heart and still retain the sense of your own self.

I prefer a plate of old tripe.

miles away — some­times I think I might have someone else’s heart. meta­phor­ic­ally speak­ing, of course. but that’s between you and me. don’t tell anyone.

Annie — You’ve come to the right place. We spe­cial­ise in old tripe round here.

you do?

oh splen­did!

Hearts and minds, tripe and eye­lids, it’s all the same to me.

“Hearts and minds, tripe and eyelids”.

I think An Unre­li­able Wit­ness may have just got its new strapline.

I think Boris Yeltsin’s liver is up for grabs now, if you don’t mind it being a bit pickled.

Hello Emma, and wel­come. Pickled liver is my favour­ite, par­tic­u­larly drowned in the deli­cious taste of vodka.

My strap sup­ply­ing fees are very reasonable.

but what about the pancreas?

think about the home­less people. What are they going to do this Christmas?

“Oh sorry, wrong blog … whoops”

I approve of the new tagline. I’ve always felt that busi­ness about you hav­ing a shiny new axe was vaguely rude some­how, but couldn’t quite put my fin­ger on why.

Angelalala — Strap-supplying? Gosh.

Imo­gen — I have their pan­creas already [insert evil laugh here]

Andre — Who are you again?

Jack — I had never noticed that par­tic­u­lar unin­ten­tional innu­endo. As you know, I am pure in thought, word and deed.