Oh, to be ubiquitous …

In what would undoubtedly be just a cheap and pale imit­a­tion of an idea first thought up by Andre Jordan of Andre Jordan fame, I am think­ing of tak­ing up dood­ling and have today myself bought a packet of felt tip pens. Watch out, world.

Er, no, that’s not right. I mean, in a heart­felt homage to an idea first dreamt up by Andre Jordan of Andre Jordan fame, I am think­ing of com­pil­ing a list of scan­dal­ous reviews of this site you see before you — though in truth, since I am pale and unin­ter­est­ing and don’t get out much, said reviews would not be nearly so sala­cious and risqué. Maybe one day, after I have had that double page spread in Hello! magazine.

Cur­rently tee­ter­ing on top of the enorm­ous and pre­cari­ously stacked pile of three pos­sible review-type things (snappy, huh?) are the fol­low­ing pithy words left on another site — which mod­esty for­bids me to link to or name — by the excep­tion­ally kind and gen­er­ous Fiona from Dub­lin. She said the fol­low­ing, which both made me blush and laugh out loud at one and the same time:

“Yeah I know. Him again. But still.”

I think you’ll agree that those seven short words say all that really needs to be said about An Unre­li­able Wit­ness. And no, I am not being my usual sar­castic self. Fiona, you are a genius of the highest order, and I salute you. I will even send one of my spe­cial crack para­chute regi­ment of angels round to your bun­ga­low this very even­ing, as a way of offer­ing my sin­cere thanks.

More reviews to come. Or maybe not.

Comments: 21

    I saw that too and I knew exactly what she meant, ha ha…

    … face it mr wit­ness, you are the Blogfather…

    Peach | 05.23.07, 20:42

    Ha ha ha ha… unable to write review at the moment due to laughter.

    But I will def­in­itely think of some­thing scandalous.

    Oh yes.

    x

    Am I allowed to men­tion any of the stuff you write on your liv­ing room wall?

    andre | 05.23.07, 20:55

    i was ubi­quit­ous once. it was very a very dif­fi­cult state to main­tain. my friends and fam­ily com­plained. i was tired a lot. I miss it.

    clarissa | 05.23.07, 21:41

    Some people spend far too much time blogging.

    Thank­fully An Unre­li­able Wit­ness is one of them.

    — The Overnight Editor

    overnighteditor | 05.24.07, 01:13

    Eek! I’m scar­leh (Dub­linese for blush­ing pro­fusely)! For the record IT WAS POST OF THE WEEK. Lack of mod­esty means I can link to it — look: HER IT IS. Still, it’s nice to know I’m top of some pile. Par­tic­u­larly some pile here.

    fionat | 05.24.07, 02:02

    What? You know Andre Jordan? Oh, you lucky, lucky Wit­ness. Swoon.

    Oh wait… about you. Okay. Ummm.

    “Unre­li­able Wit­ness… he knows Andre Jordan personally.”

    How was that?

    la fille | 05.24.07, 02:26

    “Will change his story under cross examination.”

    Mr Angry | 05.24.07, 10:42

    Earl Unre­li­able Wit­ness Esquire, PhD, OBE, CBE and hon­on­ary Free­man of the City of Londinium, is hereby gran­ted the free­dom of the City of Lon­don Tarn and there­fore the right to herd his sheep across Lon­don Bridge and up the Mall.

    {darn it, feckin sheep slipped in there somehow}

    annie | 05.24.07, 11:17

    “Read­ing between the lines of An Unre­li­able Wit­ness one is left in no doubt what­so­ever that there is quite clearly a sheep fet­ish going on”

    andre | 05.24.07, 11:30

    What do the other two say?

    Angelalala | 05.24.07, 15:38

    Peach — Does that mean I am going to place horse’s heads in lead­ing blog­gers beds? I do hope not.

    Andre — The stuff I write on my liv­ing room wall is only to be seen by myself and by people who sleep in my liv­ing room, so keep it zipped, Jerdin.

    Clarissa — Ubi­quity is very exhaust­ing. I feel quite spent.

    OE — Ah, time blog­ging. I remem­ber that.

    Mr Angry — I ‘ave ne’er lied to bleedin’ no one, guv’nor. You ask me muvva.

    Fiona — And now I am scar­leh (what a fab­ulous word) again.

    La Fille — Er, I’m sorry? Andreas who?

    Annie — Do not men­tion sheep! You know what’ll hap­pen! That long-haired doodler will only be along to men­tion his clouds.

    Andre — See? See?!

    An Unreliable Witness | 05.24.07, 19:22

    “neither unre­li­able or a witness”

    i feel quite jipped, really.

    kermit | 05.25.07, 00:36

    “An Unre­li­able Wit­ness: bet­ter than sex with an unat­tract­ive psychopath.”

    You can quote me on that.

    petemaskreplica | 05.25.07, 01:31

    Ker­mit — I am quite unre­li­able, actu­ally, but I have never wit­nessed any­thing. I am always about ten minutes late.

    Petem­askrep­lica — Oh dear, I think my eyes are watering.

    An Unreliable Witness | 05.25.07, 11:36

    lla­mas

    lla­mas

    {must remem­ber not to men­tion sheep, oh bugger}

    annie | 05.25.07, 14:49

    the blo­go­sphere, if it is accept­able to use such an offens­ive term in your com­ment box, just wouldn’t be the same without you, mr unreliable.

    edvard moonke | 05.25.07, 17:10

    er, hope not, for­got about that bit, ha

    Peach | 05.26.07, 17:21

    Felt pens. Can’t wait!

    I don’t have felt pens but i draw in paint. Does that count?

    I only draw cats.

    Yes, Andre has star­ted a revolution!

    Blue Seaurchin | 05.27.07, 04:10

    I have ubi­quit­ous ants. its not a good thing.

    Blue Seaurchin | 05.27.07, 04:16

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