Random acts of stationery #22

Chopping’s too bloody. Simple bend­ing and snap­ping will suffice.

Or maybe just stuff­ing with enthusiasm?

On reflec­tion, and pos­sibly for the first time in a dec­ade, I actu­ally didn’t mean that as rudely as it came out.

Aha! So, it turns out you *do* want to go on hol­i­day in August after all.

Ewwwww. And then I’m sup­posed to open the suit­case and find the decom­pos­ing bits when we get there?

I think not.

What if the suit­case gets stolen?

What if some of your parts get jammed in transit and we can’t put you back together again.

What part should we then keep, an eye for you to watch from?

Aha! Frivol­ous again, are we?

Or maybe just run you a bubble bath?

I might just use a big­ger suitcase.

If that’s okay.

Aeroflot’s answer to “the world’s favour­ite airline”.

Rob — Chop­ping has more pas­sion about it, though.

Jack — An unin­ten­tional innu­endo? From the ver­it­able mis­tress of the form? I simply refuse to believe it.

Ani — Yes. I want to go on my sort of hol­i­day. Where I just stay in my room and sulk. Perfect.

Bohémi­enne — But decom­pos­ing bod­ies look good in deck­chairs on the seafront. I should know. I’ve been to Eastbourne.

Miss Tickle — Okay. I sug­gest a tea chest.

Ben — My kind of air­line, Aer­o­flot. They should be allowed to do internal UK flights.

Clarissa — Bubble bath or chop­ping up bod­ies? I know which I’d choose.

Nar­ziss — Always frivol­ous. Always.

blue­seaurchin — Oh yes, always keep the eye. Eye­lids are essen­tial in my trade.

yikes!

Peach — Yikes is right. I’m dead scary, you know. Grrr.

But surely an aero­plane would be far more com­fort­able than death and suitcases?