Random acts of stationery #23

That, is far too much information.

Dad rocks.

Is it Lady Chatterly?

lil­li­pilli — It is, yes. Though there is far more of too much inform­a­tion on pages 37, 86, 123 and 193–196.

Clarissa — Oh yes, he’s a very help­ful fel­low. Far too help­ful, in fact.

Miss T — No, sadly not. It is the Haynes Intro­duct­ory Guide to Ford Cor­tina Vehicle Maintenance.

Amaz­ing what we inherit from our fathers.

[Can we stop the frivolity and go back to the cold-blooded horse mur­der­ing, please? No? *bat­ting lashes*]

Was it Mrs Bee­ton? It was, wasn’t it?

Ani — Horse mur­der­ing will return anon, just as soon as I’ve got those pesky RSPCA people off my back.

Jack — I’m say­ing noth­ing, apart from hint­ing that I might be exhausted after mak­ing the chocol­ate eclair recipe on page 86. Ahem.

Does this book con­tain the words ‘glisten­ing mound’?

Caite — No, but I am reli­ably informed that page 64, so care­fully removed, did fea­ture the phrase ‘moist hillock’.

Also ‘muffin’ and ‘knob of but­ter’, I trust.

Jack — I am sit­ting here and wait­ing patiently for your inev­it­able ‘cream horn’ gag. Please don’t dis­ap­point me.

Dearest Daddy,

I really don’t do Reli­gious books, but thanks anyway.

Your Son.

Wow.…. you make me scared to see my own little brother turn 18! though I already know he has seen many of my dads filthy mater­i­als.…. x