[Insert snow-related pun here]

It’s Tuesday. Sigh. Whilst you’ve been away on your Bank Holiday getaway, sat in a sweltering car parked on a motorway somewhere, sad stay-at-home social inadeqates such as myself have been here, still on the web. You know, in that way in which people who don’t have a life tend to do. Never mind.

In your absence, I’ve been putting up post-it notes about kissing with cold sores and further murdering of harmless animals, following the successful horse shooting episode. However, away from this humble apology for a website, one of my animal fables has been featured on the blog of the Snowbooks publishing house. Which is nice. So if you read the tale of the squirrel with the amazing store of nuts a few weeks ago, why not go and read it again but in a different font and on a different page design? It will be like a whole new experience, I promise you.

Oh, and you’ll notice that the story is posted under my real name, the one I never mention here so that I don’t end up with yet more search results in Google which would further encourage my small circle of stalkers. If you’d be so kind as to not mention it here, I would be very grateful. It can be our little secret.

Cynthia the squirrel is now available for public speaking engagements.

Comments: 18

    Gosh. Will you still remember your stalkers when you’re rich and famous?

    Miss Vertigo | 08.28.07, 09:38

    But everyone KNOWS you are Arthur Crabtree, what’s the big mystery??

    Gordon | 08.28.07, 09:45

    from the bit below the post but before the comments:

    “We love hearing from our readers, but please stay relevant and pleasant. ”

    oh dear. um. i fear the usual suspects in this comment box may not be welcome in that one. balderdash! piffle! cat kebabs! irrepairable punctuation!

    however, congratluations!

    Miles Away | 08.28.07, 10:00

    I will have you know I am very socially adequate.

    [And, yes. Being featured somewhere else is nice. Quite, quite nice.]

    Ani | 08.28.07, 10:34

    that’s brilliant x

    andre | 08.28.07, 11:21

    *Beaming from ear to ear*

    Well, that’s very nice for you, Mr. Witness. Well done, in fact.

    bohémienne | 08.28.07, 12:47

    I really enjoy your animal fables, Mr Unreliable. I am glad that many others do, too.

    Good job :)

    not quite an evil genius (actually, not even evil (or a genius)) | 08.28.07, 12:52

    as you wish, i am not mentioning anything, seeing as you perceive us as social inadequates.

    and for the record, the colonists don’t have a bank holiday. we don’t take holidays from our banks. i, sir, am insulted at this blatant disregard for our delicate feelings. it is now that i completely understand why we decided to dump the motherland.

    kermit | 08.28.07, 22:17

    it’s a brilliant little story. what really astonishes me is the fact that all those fables of yours haven’t turned into a children’s book yet.

    if I were you, I’d start searching for a really good illustrator…

    edvard moonke | 08.29.07, 11:09

    Interesting. Real names are the way forward. Back with the story. Give me 3 months. Regards [name deleted]. Abstract friend.

    Chris | 08.29.07, 22:08

    Did you flake out in shock or were you a-ski-ng for it?

    Angelalala | 08.29.07, 23:37

    Me being a donkey as usual. Random acts of stationery number 647: Never comment after a bottle of wine and 4 cans of beer.

    Selah. I’ll get my coat.

    Chris | 08.30.07, 19:40

    Chris - No worries. Sorry for editing your comment but, as I said, I sort of want to keep my name (Veronica) off this site. Please don’t get your coat.

    An Unreliable Witness | 08.31.07, 08:56

    wait, so your real name isn’t unreliable witness? i feel jipped.

    kermit | 09.01.07, 07:58

    Public squeaking, surely? Ha ha, ha. Ahem.

    seahorse | 09.01.07, 20:57

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