[Insert snow-related pun here]

It’s Tues­day. Sigh. Whilst you’ve been away on your Bank Hol­i­day get­away, sat in a swel­ter­ing car parked on a motor­way some­where, sad stay-at-home social inad­eqates such as myself have been here, still on the web. You know, in that way in which people who don’t have a life tend to do. Never mind.

In your absence, I’ve been put­ting up post-it notes about kiss­ing with cold sores and fur­ther mur­der­ing of harm­less anim­als, fol­low­ing the suc­cess­ful horse shoot­ing epis­ode. How­ever, away from this humble apo­logy for a web­site, one of my animal fables has been fea­tured on the blog of the Snow­books pub­lish­ing house. Which is nice. So if you read the tale of the squir­rel with the amaz­ing store of nuts a few weeks ago, why not go and read it again but in a dif­fer­ent font and on a dif­fer­ent page design? It will be like a whole new exper­i­ence, I prom­ise you.

Oh, and you’ll notice that the story is pos­ted under my real name, the one I never men­tion here so that I don’t end up with yet more search res­ults in Google which would fur­ther encour­age my small circle of stalk­ers. If you’d be so kind as to not men­tion it here, I would be very grate­ful. It can be our little secret.

Cyn­thia the squir­rel is now avail­able for pub­lic speak­ing engagements.

Comments: 18

    Gosh. Will you still remem­ber your stalk­ers when you’re rich and famous?

    Miss Vertigo | 08.28.07, 09:38

    But every­one KNOWS you are Arthur Crab­tree, what’s the big mystery??

    Gordon | 08.28.07, 09:45

    from the bit below the post but before the comments:

    “We love hear­ing from our read­ers, but please stay rel­ev­ant and pleasant. ”

    oh dear. um. i fear the usual sus­pects in this com­ment box may not be wel­come in that one. balder­dash! piffle! cat kebabs! irre­pair­able punctuation!

    how­ever, congratluations!

    Miles Away | 08.28.07, 10:00

    I will have you know I am very socially adequate.

    [And, yes. Being fea­tured some­where else is nice. Quite, quite nice.]

    Ani | 08.28.07, 10:34

    that’s bril­liant x

    andre | 08.28.07, 11:21

    *Beam­ing from ear to ear*

    Well, that’s very nice for you, Mr. Wit­ness. Well done, in fact.

    bohémienne | 08.28.07, 12:47

    I really enjoy your animal fables, Mr Unre­li­able. I am glad that many oth­ers do, too.

    Good job :)

    not quite an evil genius (actually, not even evil (or a genius)) | 08.28.07, 12:52

    as you wish, i am not men­tion­ing any­thing, see­ing as you per­ceive us as social inadequates.

    and for the record, the col­on­ists don’t have a bank hol­i­day. we don’t take hol­i­days from our banks. i, sir, am insul­ted at this blatant dis­reg­ard for our del­ic­ate feel­ings. it is now that i com­pletely under­stand why we decided to dump the motherland.

    kermit | 08.28.07, 22:17

    it’s a bril­liant little story. what really aston­ishes me is the fact that all those fables of yours haven’t turned into a children’s book yet.

    if I were you, I’d start search­ing for a really good illustrator…

    edvard moonke | 08.29.07, 11:09

    Inter­est­ing. Real names are the way for­ward. Back with the story. Give me 3 months. Regards [name deleted]. Abstract friend.

    Chris | 08.29.07, 22:08

    Did you flake out in shock or were you a-ski-ng for it?

    Angelalala | 08.29.07, 23:37

    Me being a don­key as usual. Ran­dom acts of sta­tion­ery num­ber 647: Never com­ment after a bottle of wine and 4 cans of beer.

    Selah. I’ll get my coat.

    Chris | 08.30.07, 19:40

    Chris — No wor­ries. Sorry for edit­ing your com­ment but, as I said, I sort of want to keep my name (Veron­ica) off this site. Please don’t get your coat.

    An Unreliable Witness | 08.31.07, 08:56

    wait, so your real name isn’t unre­li­able wit­ness? i feel jipped.

    kermit | 09.01.07, 07:58

    Pub­lic squeak­ing, surely? Ha ha, ha. Ahem.

    seahorse | 09.01.07, 20:57

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