This is nothing like it was in my room, in my best clothes. Sharply creased, pressed and ironed into my uniform.
It had been decided that I was going away, because Something Wasn’t Right about me. Because out of sight meant out of mind. Out of the way, more likely. Out of your harm’s way, even more accurately.
I […]
I can barely believe what just happened! Indeed, I can so barely believe it that I am using exclamation marks in a flagrant and downright wilful fashion! Without due regard for health and safety laws! I have rarely been so animated! Or excitable!
Where was I? Oh yes. What just happened, and barely believing it.
Well, I thought … […]
[Insert words here]
Um. Well. Indeed. Yes.
Thank you.
Thank you for your time.
That is all.
Don’t call us. We’ll call you.
I am going to climb into my well now.
Please do not drop pebbles on my head.
Not unless you hear me mumbling to myself.
[Insert more words here. Repeat to fade.]
“Hello, is that the Buddhist Chant Peace and Reassurance Helpline? I’m so glad I’ve got through to you, because I’m desperately in need of some reassurance. Maybe if you could chant to me quietly whilst I sit here cross-legged with my eyes closed and then … what? What do you mean? At this time of […]
Dear You,
It seems there was a pause in my celestial transmissions. Are you receiving me loud and clear?
The only explanation I can possibly offer is that the clouds in my broken neck of the woods have been heavier than lead in air these past months. A number of particularly aggravating cumulonimbus took up residence along a […]