Today is a truly momentous day for An Unreliable Witness.
But enough about me. Forget for a moment that this is my site, all about me. I know it’s difficult, but try. Just this once, please. I’m begging and imploring you. I know that I am an endlessly fascinating topic of conversation, so I promise that you […]
If you are new to An Unreliable Witness, hello and welcome. You may wish to browse the About page, which has just been rewritten to provide even less information concerning this site and its creator than it did before.
If you are familiar with An Unreliable Witness, thanks for your continued stoicism in the face of so […]
That’s right, that’s right, that’s you. You come along here, bold and brazen as you like, and you smash glasses, crockery, fingers and thumbs, sticks and stones against the rocks, you break my bones because names will never hurt me, and then you lean forward. Conspiratorially. Warily. Carefully. Cast your eyes into my skull and […]
Kick off my shoes and go outside. Grass, gravel, dirt, dust: feel them all surging and sticking between my toes. Head down to the disused canal - more picturesque than such an uninspiring location has any right to be - to find my favourite bench along the quietest stretch, just before the incline, and sit. […]
welcome to your nervous illness your nervous system your fluttering and your fluctuating cue clamouring voices are the clamouring voices ready yes ready we’re ready as of a decade ago stood five deep and stacked seventeen high offstage left primed and prepared and perfectly poised take to the spotlights take to the floodlights switch switch […]
This is nothing like it was in my room, in my best clothes. Sharply creased, pressed and ironed into my uniform.
It had been decided that I was going away, because Something Wasn’t Right about me. Because out of sight meant out of mind. Out of the way, more likely. Out of your harm’s way, even more accurately.
I […]
I can barely believe what just happened! Indeed, I can so barely believe it that I am using exclamation marks in a flagrant and downright wilful fashion! Without due regard for health and safety laws! I have rarely been so animated! Or excitable!
Where was I? Oh yes. What just happened, and barely believing it.
Well, I thought … […]
[Insert words here]
Um. Well. Indeed. Yes.
Thank you.
Thank you for your time.
That is all.
Don’t call us. We’ll call you.
I am going to climb into my well now.
Please do not drop pebbles on my head.
Not unless you hear me mumbling to myself.
[Insert more words here. Repeat to fade.]