Do make say think

I want to be a blog­ger. [Pause for effect.] Yes, you heard.

Let me cla­rify that gran­di­ose and pos­sibly fool­hardy state­ment. I want to be a nor­mal blog­ger. No, really, I do. I want to post long-winded entries about my day at work, about get­ting so drunk last night that, like, I don’t even remem­ber get­ting home (right?), about going to the local DIY store at the week­end, about put­ting up some shelves, about what was on tele­vi­sion yes­ter­day even­ing, about the hil­ari­ous activ­it­ies of my cat (I do not have a cat) — com­plete with pho­tos and embed­ded You­tube clip, about going to the gar­age to get my car fixed (I do not have a car), about Big Brother, about the crunchi­ness or non-crunchiness of the toast I ate earlier, about listen­ing to the sonic cathed­rals of sound and mean­ing­ful lyr­ics of Radi­o­head (man). About about about. And then I would have some­thing to (not too). You know. Bits and pieces. Leftovers and remains. Odd­ments. Detritus. Stuffed cup­boards and over­flow­ing draw­ers. Of whatever this is. Who­ever I might be. Wherever I am.

If I was a nor­mal blog­ger, I could just. Some­where. Else. Someone. Else. Some­place. Some­time. At some point. I could simply. Simply this. Simply that. Simple. And then “[insert state­ment here]”.

I am home and hearth and unholy hovel to a ragtag army of cat­er­waul­ing angels, wear­ing red devil horns for a taste of the other, and flag­rantly reel­ing their danse macabre over mass graves inside my head. Snap­ping bones and shout­ing. Unin­tel­li­gible rhymes. Anim­al­istic cries. Speak­ing in tongues. Your tongues, not mine. My voice is cough­ing. Cough­ing from hoarse to mute and back again.

So I tried. [Pause for effect.] You can’t say that I didn’t try.

Comments: 8

    But you can’t be a blog­ger, you can’t deny us the glor­i­ous tumult of lan­guage we so love. And remem­ber, we remem­ber, some of us, we know and understand.

    So do try.

    Just not too hard.

    Gordon | 06.30.08, 22:19

    From you, I never expect the expected.

    lillipilli | 06.30.08, 22:57

    I’ve never been called a cat­er­waul­ing angel before; a scream­ing ban­shee, yes. I am in fact one of those nor­mal, bor­ing blog­gers with the usual aspir­a­tions above my sta­tion and it puzzles me as to why you might have aspir­a­tions way, way below yours! You already seem to have that elu­sive thing that I’ve been search­ing for (in vain): a sense of pur­pose. I am, as ever, deeply impressed.

    Stephanie | 06.30.08, 23:41

    So that’s “a blog­ger”. Uh. That’s a [cough] nor­mal [cough, reprise] blog­ger. A sane, safe, serene, stand­ard [head spins] blog­ger. Now I know. Blog­gers *do* exist out there. I’m a fail­ure, then. I’m a blog­nik, an unblog­ger, a deb­log­ging sick creature, a… Oh, no. My cats are petrified.

    Lore | 07.01.08, 07:32

    You are a blog­ger. Just a bit, er, big­ger than most in the writ­ing. A blig­ger, that’s what you are.

    Angelalala | 07.01.08, 09:06

    Gor­don — ‘Try­ing. But not too hard’ is in fact my new motto for how to live my life.

    Lil­li­pilli — Thank you. I shall con­tinue in my attempts to avoid the expec­ted, then. For­tu­nately, that’s one of my secret aims, anyway.

    Stephanie — It’s a long time since I’ve been described as hav­ing a sense of purpose.

    Lore — Yes, it’s true. I have to break the sad truth to you too, that you are in no way what­so­ever a blog­ger. And thank heav­ens for that, say I.

    Angelalala — A blig­ger? That is fant­astic. *dies of happiness*

    An Unreliable Witness | 07.02.08, 13:42

    This made me smile. I won­der what its like inside the heads of those nor­mal blog­gers. They seem so full but some­how hol­low. I won­der what their cup­boards and bot­tom draw­ers con­tain. I won­der how dusty their lamp­shades are…

    jem | 07.04.08, 11:31

    Jem — I can’t com­ment on all your won­der­ing. I can tell you, how­ever, that my lamp­shades are incred­ibly dusty. In fact, I think dust­ing is highly over­rated. I am not sure whether or not that simple fact makes me a nor­mal blogger.

    An Unreliable Witness | 07.05.08, 19:19

Leave a comment