I am giving up writing because … #17

No mean feet, that.

Ba dum tish!

Ah, what we call a lex­ical toss-up:

give up walk­ing
(stalk­ing, blun­der­ing, slip­ping, step­ping gingerly, tra­vers­ing)
or
give up writ­ing
(stalk­ing, blun­der­ing, slip­ping, step­ping gingerly, traversing).

May I sug­gest an altern­at­ive: give up gram­mar and employ “lax” writ­ing? In an attempt to write “cor­rectly”, I fall flat on my face; each care­ful step a lex­ical trip haz­ard. Skid­ding on leaves I make my way through the woods singing to myself: let blun­ders be pen­al­ised no longer. In doing so, each step becomes less meas­ured, more “me”. I trip less frequently.

I should like to point out that Miss Smith has made a spelling mistake.

You can’t get the staff.

Bless you beau­ti­ful, funny people.

No, no — ‘ba dum tish’ is the sound of the drums at the end of an oh so humor­ous quip, in this case sig­ni­fy­ing genius pun­nery of the word­smith­ery kind which Mr Unre­li­able so appre­ci­ates, espe­cially as it relates to a par­tic­u­lar limb or lack thereof. :P

Spikes on artifical foot = doing some­thing autum­nally use­ful when not writing.

Are you heart­less people mak­ing humour out of my one-leggedness and arti­fi­cial footed­ness? I think this is dis­grace­ful. Pah, I say. Pah! ;)

I knew that, Smith. ;)

Dear Mr. Witness

It wasn’t ‘people’ it was me!

Are you laugh­ing at my heart disablement?!?

Dear Mr NAGA,

I star­ted it and I intend to take full credit. Please do not step on my toes (har).

Footily,
Ani