Do you have that disease? Do you have that raging poison in your veins? Will you give it to me? Will you bestow your dreadful illness upon this feeble mind and body? Will you course through my bloodstream? Will you beat me into submission? Will you fuck me into obliteration rather than simple oblivion? Will […]
This is just a box. You cannot come into this box. You cannot come into this box with me. I do not share this box. This box is mine. I will climb into this box. I am now climbing into this box. I will close the lid of this box. I am now closing the […]
If you’re still here, you’re a better person than I am. So let me send you away again. To Dogzplot. Or rather Reflective Dog, the non-fiction literary magazine part of the Dogzplot flashandpoetryandfiction literary empire, where I have a piece of, yes, non-fiction currently available. It’s all about my tragic condition. Please don’t cry (too much). […]
In a bid to resuscitate my pathetic, dwindling creativity — or rather, repeatedly kick its body in the stomach as it lies on the floor, pleading for mercy — I am attempting to discover whether, via the miracle of sleek ‘n’ sexy mobile technology, I can write something eloquent and profound whilst ‘on fhe move’, […]
Have you got a poem in a new book soon to be published by Chris East and Catherine Maskell and their Bureau de Books? Well, funny you should ask, but yes, yes I have. Who are the other far more illustrious writers that I’ll find between its covers? There are people I’ve heard of — […]
Unless you’ve been hiding under … well, an elephant since about June, you’ll be well aware that the superb wordsmith and web personage known as xTx has declared this to be Elephant Summer. Since you’re all clever people who went through school, I’m sure you don’t need me to remind you what elephants are. That’s […]
In this new — and God help you all, let’s hope mercifuily short — series of posts, I am seeking to shake, punch and kick some life into the diseased, fetid corpse of blogging by harking back to the medium’s golden age. When blogging used to be about the tedious minutiae of one’s life. When […]
… as in: you probably thought I was dead, but I’m not. But also: I have a piece of writing / fiction / prose (whatever you wish to call it) in the new issue of online literary magazine > kill author. You can read my contribution here. It features barcodes. It does not feature paragraphs. […]
An overwhelming sense of self-loathing makes me want to shoot myself in the head in the middle of Starbucks, spraying slithers of my brain and skull shrapnel into the Soy Lattes and Tall Skinny Hold The Froth No In Fact Give Me More Froth Give Me More More More Froth Until I Froth From The […]
Ex Cathedra is a new literary magazine that is “unaffiliated with any religion, except that of fine literature”, and I have a piece of prose entitled ‘Swallow’ featured in it. It’s in PDF format, so click through to page 80 to read my vague outpourings. Or rather don’t, not immediately, no matter how much you […]
People constantly ask me — as in no people, not constantly and never ask — about my raison d’être for writing. When I write. Which isn’t very often these days, seemingly. But when I do, they ask me. And since I am the quintessential shy, retiring type, I never reply. I just shift uncomfortably in […]
While sitting in the dark, move your fingers in front of the glaring light being pumped out from your laptop screen. If you concentrate hard enough, you’ll soon be able to conjure up some short dramatic scenes performed in silhouette, with your digits portraying each of the characters. As long as there are not more […]
Hello. I have been thinking about trying to write here again. Or just write. Anywhere. But I am not sure. Not sure. Yet. So. How have you been? I hope you have been well. I have been. I have been somewhere. Things have happened. Other things have not happened. And other things have happened in […]
There now follows an impromptu address to the massed ranks of witnesses to the unreliable. Please do not whisper, fidget or pick your nose whilst I’m speaking. In truth, I hate entries like this. They’re the worst refuge of the self-important blogger. “Look at me!” they cry, whilst acting deliberately self-effacing and sternly instructing everyone […]