Ed is dead #3

Fears for miss­ing mar­ket researcher
The Isling­ton Local & Her­ald
Sunday 1 February

As a wide­spread search con­tin­ues for Edwin Scara­manga (known as Ed), the Isling­ton man who went miss­ing over a week ago, local police have appealed once again for any inform­a­tion relat­ing to his dis­ap­pear­ance. They have also expressed ser­i­ous con­cerns for his safety and his state of mind.

Speak­ing to journ­al­ists dur­ing a brief press con­fer­ence out­side Mr Scaramanga’s Dan­bury Street home, DS Frank­lin Darke of the Isling­ton Miss­ing Per­sons Unit revealed that his team still had no leads regard­ing any def­in­ite sight­ings of the 33 year-old mar­ket research advisor.

“To all intents and pur­poses, Mr Scara­manga fell between the cracks and, to mix meta­phors, failed to register on anyone’s radar. It’s entirely pos­sible that he could have van­ished off the face of Isling­ton, and indeed the Earth, some time ago, without any­one noti­cing or being unduly per­turbed by his absence. Although Edwin’s par­ents repor­ted him miss­ing on Sat­urday 24 Janu­ary when he failed to appear at the party to cel­eb­rate his uncle’s fourth mar­riage, no one can recall see­ing Mr Scara­manga for some weeks before­hand, nor indeed can they place when or where they might have last engaged him in mean­ing­ful con­ver­sa­tion,” said DS Darke.

There has been one uncon­firmed report of a man match­ing Edwin Scaramanga’s unre­mark­able appear­ance eat­ing alone in a Greek res­taur­ant in Ken­ning­ton, smil­ing to him­self whilst read­ing a battered paper­back copy of The Devil’s Dic­tion­ary by Amer­ican sat­ir­ist Ambrose Bierce.

How­ever, doubts have since been expressed about the accur­acy of this sight­ing, based on the fact that the man in ques­tion was eat­ing Souvlaki-pita, whilst Mr Scara­manga is a fan­at­ical vegetarian.

If you have any inform­a­tion that could help loc­ate Ed Scara­manga, or if you have ever had a con­ver­sa­tion with him that you can remem­ber in some detail, please con­tact Isling­ton Police immediately.