This morning, I woke up, wiped the sleep from my bloodshot eyes, and decided that I was going to be famous. Now. Now I’m famous. There. I became famous in the same moment that I typed the word ‘now’. At this precise point in time, right this minute, I am a legend. A legend in […]
Gosh, that rhymes. Anyone would think I liked writing or something. But clearly not much. Anyway, enough about me. Really. Enough about me. This is an important public service announcement. If you haven’t yet ventured into the world of Writers’ Bloc, why the hell not? You should do. It’s good. Better than cheese. Almost. Where […]
They say that I need a plan. Whoever they are. I say that I have a plan. A twelve-step plan, I say. They ask if I am an alcoholic. I reconsider my reply. They say that I need a plan. Whoever they are. I say that plans are for careerist swine, for capitalist scum, for faceless […]
If you think my writing is impenetrable, obscure, even pretentious, then standby for a revelation, for I am about to speak plainly. Or should that be write plainly? I don’t know. Indeed, I probably don’t care either. But whichever it is, I will be plain and simple and straightforward in the delivery of what I […]
With an uncharacteristic degree of self-confidence that briefly lulled me into thinking I might be a ‘somebody’ in online writing terms, I let Ryan Manning ask me a series of deep and meaningful questions for his interview site, thunk. Good luck reading to the end of all I said. I was clearly labouring under the […]
Imagination is a whore. A filthy yet fickle whore. Comes to me and for me, spread-eagled and pouting, offering up everything on a wooden platter. Then she withdraws, closes up and turns away. A frost descends. She’s ice cold, white and drained. yes i know you want fucking angels and more fucking angels and all […]
Down on my luck, with a few scrapings to my real name and even fewer clippings to my virtual one, I took myself off to the end of that slow and once graceful meander, where the well-heeled luxurious palaces — built in styles of architecture bearing their regal inspiration and carrying blue plaques paying testament […]
I’ll try and speak and shout and scream above the sirens for you, dearest. Raise my faded energy loss voice and alcohol addled larynx above the soused spectators on the streets outside and down and dead. So, yes, you should be warned that there’s one stinking shitload of Friday night frenzied fucking and festivities going […]
If you like messing about in boats, might I recommend dressing up as a drunken sailor and then dropping anchor at Six Sentences, where you will find my frigate flying its flag of convenience. Or something. I think that’s one too many dreadful seafaring puns, so I’ll stop now.
Turn left. She is all politeness, but laced with the venom of palpable menace. Turn left. Don’t want to. You can’t make me. Turn left. But I prefer the river. You can’t. You can’t go in the river. Why not? I could be quite the most expert of drowners. I could suck up city effluent […]
Stay silent, stay prone Recumbent, even Under this late-flowering canopy Dead-headed to prevent further Infestation, molestation To promote new growth Of tell-tale green shoots Split open, then, to stop the telling Of plants talking back Through mouthing leaves Stay silent, stay prone Open to the touch Of these tender traps, if you let them grasp […]