May cause drowsiness: day 31

So. End. Start. Whichever. Rico­chet. Start again.

Empty-minded. Come here empty-handed. Choose at ran­dom. Clean slate. Wipe-clean sur­face. It worked out. It didn’t quite work. Write up the exper­i­ment. Describe what happened. Describe what we expec­ted to hap­pen. Aim and out­come. Aim and fire. Cause and effect. Now cease and desist. What did I dis­cover? What did I already know? What have I learned? Has this been a learn­ing exer­cise? Have I achieved per­sonal growth? Have I found? Lost? Found again?

Bul­let point. Anim­ated graphic.
Bul­let point. Pos­it­ive state­ment.
Bul­let point. Conclusion.

Buzz buzz buzz. Word. Words. Wordless.

You. You could never get lost, could you? You could never wander off into the fog, aim­lessly trail­ing skin debris and crumpled paper in your wake. No. Avoid the forest, stay on the pave­ment under equidistant street lights. Catch a bus because it’ll take you exactly where you’re going. Even if you miss your stop you’ll still be able to press your face to the win­dow and watch the des­tin­a­tion you dreamt of simply flash by. There, there, and gone. Bet­ter for you to be sur­roun­ded by people, fel­low trav­el­lers also miss­ing their stops and nar­row­ing their eyes, cran­ing their necks to scan the faded route map. That’s where we are, and that’s where we want to be, but we’re here. Which is some­where. We know where it is, and the name seems reas­sur­ingly famil­iar. Com­fort­ing. We can just cross the road and get a bus back in the oppos­ite dir­ec­tion. No chal­lenge. No upset. Don’t go out of your way to lose your way, will you?

None of this helps you to become lost, to be gone, to dis­ap­pear. To step off the trampled path. To fall into bushes or throw your­self against a wall in the hope that it might just be a false front­age, a film set, and behind it noth­ing but a sud­den col­lapse of sur­face, a lack of where­withal, an absence of being, just a dis­persal of cells.

This is how you go. You go like this.
You go like this, so that you can return.
You go like this, so that you can file a report.
You go like this. This is your wit­ness state­ment.
This is how to dis­be­lieve every word you ever said.
Fin­ish on a pos­it­ive state­ment. Fin­ish on forgetting.

So. End. Start. Whichever. Rico­chet. Start again.