This is a needlessly lengthy title that says nothing about me, my life, my deep-seated desires or my depraved intentions, but it looks clever on paper, even if it does end up completely breaking the carefully designed template of my site — though, frankly, I am past caring if it does

So words sit under my skin, mak­ing me itch and scratch, mak­ing me shake and puke like some kind of recov­er­ing addict. A junkie who now prefers one sub­stance to another. Sweats and shits and sick­ness and soreness.

The words, they want to stay there because it’s warm. I want them to stay there because they break my flesh and make it flake, make me wish for death when they rise to the sur­face of my skin and ask me where they’re destined to be placed, destined to be wasted, cast aside to be for­got­ten, thrown away to be incin­er­ated, to be bur­ied, to be be be oh I don’t know make up your own fuck­ing ter­min­o­logy you host of sick and slav­er­ing ghouls I’ve lost the will and the train and the and the the the the the the the the the.

“This lan­guage is a chorus of sick­en­ing fucks.”

“This lan­guage is a massed chant of putrid cunts.”

“This lan­guage car­ries the stench of depravity.”

“This lan­guage has con­crete at its core.”

“This lan­guage makes me rip the hearts from dogs.”

“This lan­guage would have me tear the fur from cats.”

“This lan­guage needs my taste in its throat.”

“This lan­guage wants me to taste its saliva.”

“This lan­guage demands satisfaction.”

“This lan­guage demands a breath.”

“This lan­guage rel­ishes hatred.”

“This lan­guage is diseased.”

“This lan­guage is dying.”

“This lan­guage is dead.”

“So? We get a new language.”

“We need a new tongue first.”

“Then we need a new voice.”

“Then we need to kill.”

“And renew.”

“And renew.”

“And renew.”

“And renew.”

I want to tear the lungs out of your chest. I want to rip the soul out of your guts. But my hand is bloody. Will you still let me?

Comments: 5

    damn. you’ve learned a lot from watch­ing me be drug sick, eh?

    Ani | 11.27.10, 23:47

    this post makes me feel sad

    isabelle | 11.28.10, 20:01

    (I am out of prac­tice with answer­ing com­ments here.)

    Ani — Eh? You? No. This post is about ME! I had a whole bottle of Night Nurse and snorted three sachets of Beechams Powders. Probably.

    Fat Roland — Thank you and wel­come. I am hon­oured to be an, er, hon­or­ary #beatoff. (Insert pre­dict­able mas­turb­a­tion gag here.)

    Isa­belle — Sorry. :( I think I only do angry, sad or sad and angry these days.

    An Unreliable Witness | 11.28.10, 23:43

    oh man, i feel for you. the beechams comedown is a KILLER.

    Ani Smith | 11.30.10, 10:35

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