Archives
Here you will find links to each and every entry published on An Unreliable Witness. Should you wish to read the entirety at one sitting — as some brave souls have tried in the past — I would humbly suggest that you seek immdiate psychiatric attention, since there is an incredible amount of inane and impenetrable verbosity contained within these pages. Idly browsing just a few selected posts, however, can prove to be an entertaining way to pass a dull weekend afternoon, especially if you’re laid up with the dreaded lurgy, go into a cold sweat if you step away from the computer for more than fifteen minutes, or have no social life.
- 2013: Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec
- 2012: Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec
- 2011: Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec
- 2010: Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec
- 2009: Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec
- 2008: Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec
- 2007: Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec
- 2006: Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec
May 2013
- This time of night
- Message #251
- Silence the noise of the silence
- If you asked
- Meaningless exhalation
April 2013
- “Whoah this blog is great, love studying your articles”
- Sums
- Poison and vacuity in equal measure
- Space for breath, for seeing, for skin hunger
- Passing at various speeds
- The private tangle
- Exhibitionism is for fools, self-confident or otherwise
- Delete event
- Errata
- Hidden in plain view
- Decisions, decisions
- Too early on a Sunday morning
March 2013
December 2012
November 2012
October 2012
September 2012
August 2012
March 2012
December 2011
September 2011
August 2011
June 2011
April 2011
December 2010
November 2010
October 2010
- Untitled
- Untitled
- Untitled
- Untitled
- Untitled
- Untitled
- Conjunction
- Semi-automatic #3
- Protected by a big tin angel
September 2010
August 2010
- Semi-automatic #2
- Purely medicinal
- Semi-automatic #1
- Sprain and pinch
- A new national anthem
- Three prayers, then silence
- Keep this card with you at all times
- Cracked screen
- Complete write-off
July 2010
May 2010
- May cause drowsiness: day 31
- May cause drowsiness: day 25
- May cause drowsiness: days 21 — 24
- May cause drowsiness: day 20
- May cause drowsiness: day 19
- May cause drowsiness: day 18
- May cause drowsiness: day 17
- Otherwise
- May cause drowsiness: day 16
- May cause drowsiness: day 15
- May cause drowsiness: day 14
- May cause drowsiness: day 13
- May cause drowsiness: day 12
- May cause drowsiness: day 11
- May cause drowsiness: day 10
- May cause drowsiness: day 9
- May cause drowsiness: day 8
- Would like to meet #3
- Would like to meet #2
- Would like to meet #1
- May cause drowsiness: day 7
- May cause drowsiness: day 6
- Forty million (or so) to one
- May cause drowsiness: day 4
- May cause drowsiness: day 3
- May cause drowsiness: day 2
- May cause drowsiness: day 1
January 2010
December 2009
October 2009
September 2009
August 2009
- Footprints in the butter
- Blogging as therapy #1
- A nasty case of Dead Writer Syndrome
- Caffeine suicide
July 2009
June 2009
- Things to do with your hands when not writing #1
- Dead people’s things for sale #5
- So on and so forth
May 2009
- [Pause for dramatic effect]
- Sans
- Fame puts you there where things are hollow
- From the pen of Mr Chen
April 2009
- World domination is all a matter of interpretation
- Self-publicity or nervous breakdown? You decide
- Like therapy, minus the Freudian overtones
- Dead people’s things for sale #4
- Kill all angels
March 2009
- Three-ring circus
- From fecund to feckless
- The sickly smell of sacrifice
- Hoisting my Jolly Roger
- So speaks the voice of experience
- Sounding the life cycle
- Dead people’s things for sale #3
- Dead people’s things for sale #2
- Wake me when the world ends
- Dead people’s things for sale #1
- Something what I wrote (sic)
- Ed is dead #4
- Somewhere, late afternoon, before sunset
February 2009
- Skeleton Song
- He’s got a screw loose
- Writing about writing
- The great provoker
- Hounded
- Seven fifty-four six degrees cloudy
- Methinks it is like a weasel
- Face the wall
- Ed is dead #3
January 2009
- Random acts of stationery #42
- Ed is dead #2
- Ed is dead
- Tamper-proof
- Drink to me only with thine eyes
- Random acts of stationery #41
- Random acts of stationery #40
- Random acts of stationery #39
- The drone of productivity
December 2008
November 2008
- I am giving up writing because … #25
- I am giving up writing because … #24
- I am giving up writing because … #23
- I am giving up writing because … #22
- I am giving up writing because … #21
- I am giving up writing because … #20
- I am giving up writing because … #19
- I am giving up writing because … #18
- I am giving up writing because … #17
- I am giving up writing because … #16
- I am giving up writing because … #15
- I am giving up writing because … #14
- I am giving up writing because … #13
October 2008
- I am giving up writing because … #12
- I am giving up writing because … #11
- I am giving up writing because … #10
- I am giving up writing because … #9
- I am giving up writing because … #8
- I am giving up writing because … #7
- I am giving up writing because … #6
- I am giving up writing because … #5
- I am giving up writing because … #4
- I am giving up writing because … #3
- I am giving up writing because … #2
- I am giving up writing because … #1
- Lost property
- Random acts of stationery #38
- Ghost reader #6
September 2008
- Ghost reader #5
- Ghost reader #4
- Gospel
- Ghost reader #3
- Ghost reader #2
- Ghost reader #1
- Wrong number #4
- Words of little consequence #19
August 2008
- Words of little consequence #18
- Words of little consequence #17
- Guest room
- These invisible lines
- Words of little consequence #16
- Unsent letter #9
July 2008
- And Lady Macbeth, she scrubbed until she bled
- Scrapings and clippings
- Words of little consequence #15
- Words of little consequence #14
- Words of little consequence #13
- Dropping an E
- Words of little consequence #12
- Words of little consequence #11
June 2008
- Do make say think
- Six forty-eight sixteen degrees sunny intervals
- Picture book
- Seven seventeen fourteen degrees overcast
- Thoroughly lost to logic
May 2008
- I do this
- Everything is just utter, utter …
- Random acts of stationery #37
- Words of little consequence #10
- Unphotographable
- Words of little consequence #9
- Words of little consequence #8
- Words of little consequence #7
- Words of little consequence #6
- This isn’t a comedy quiz show, is it?
- Sad, pathetic charity case
April 2008
- I is well red (sic)
- Alphabetti spaghetti: C
- Incantation
- Words of little consequence #5
- Words of little consequence #4
- Words of little consequence #3
- Words of little consequence #2
- Words of little consequence #1
- Iteration
- Scraps of evidence
- Wrong number #3
March 2008
- Into the white
- Random acts of stationery #36
- Random acts of stationery #35
- Random acts of stationery #34
- Random acts of stationery #33
- Random acts of stationery #32
- Random acts of stationery #31
- First day, last day, every day
February 2008
January 2008
- Strange things happen
- Random notices #20
- Random notices #19
- Random notices #18
- Random notices #17
- Random notices #16
- Random notices #15
- Forget-me-knots
- Random notices #14
- Random notices #13
- Random notices #12
- Cannot locate signal
December 2007
- One minute passed at one minute past
- Footprints in Snow
- The World’s Worst Eskimo
- Unsent letter #8
- Dancing about architecture
- Work and non-work
- Skin-written
November 2007
- A brief history of timekeeping
- Scorched earth policy
- Unsent letter #7
- Minutiae v1.0
- Sex sells, but it doesn’t spell
- Wrong number #2
- You know you’re getting old when …
- Wake Up
- Commercial break
October 2007
- Lost souls
- Exciting site news
- Coded promises
- Gone fishing
- Random notices #11
- Random notices #10
- Random notices #9
- Random notices #8
- Random notices #7
- Random notices #6
- Unsigned confession
September 2007
- Mr. November
- One moment of excitable inhalation
- One moment of meaningful exhalation
- Random acts of stationery #30
- Random acts of stationery #29
- Random acts of stationery #28
- Wrong number #1
- Melodrama in nineteen syllables
- Unsent letter #6
August 2007
- Random acts of stationery #27
- Random acts of stationery #26
- [Insert snow-related pun here]
- Random acts of stationery #25
- Random acts of stationery #24
- Random acts of stationery #23
- Equus
- Random acts of stationery #22
- Random acts of stationery #21
- Oh, beast of burden, carry me
- Random acts of stationery #20
- Fluttering
- Disappearer
- Conversation v1.1
- Alphabetti spaghetti: B
July 2007
- An unscientific little pole (sic)
- Animal Fables: Whale
- A purple shade of sabotage
- Animal Fables: Squirrel
- Another journey by night
- Many happy non-returns
- One and one and one
- And this room in monochrome
- As surely as the sun rises
- Always read the label
- Footprints end
- Random notices #5
- Random notices #4
- Random notices #3
- Random notices #2
- Random notices #1
June 2007
- Cloud chasers
- Clearing
- Solstice
- Random acts of stationery #19
- Nothing here but clinker
- Walking the ghost
- Packed, wrapped and folded
- Random acts of stationery #18
- Random acts of stationery #17
- Web two point oh Christ almighty
May 2007
- [Insert leg-related pun here]
- Three steps to heaven, twelve steps to hell
- Oh, to be ubiquitous …
- See you on rooftops
- Turnupspeed
- Random acts of stationery #16
- Never mind the quality, feel the niche
- Random acts of stationery #15
- Random acts of stationery #14
- Drop in the ocean, fall in the river
- All hail the Happiness Tsar
- Soulweaving songs
- Political incorrectness gone mad
April 2007
- Misfits #4: handle with care
- Interview with a demon
- Some words of enti(t)lement
- Random acts of stationery #13
- Random acts of stationery #12
- Now available on paper
- Random acts of stationery #11
- Unsent letter #5
- Random acts of stationery #10
- The map-reader’s search for co-ordinates
- Clicks and buzzes
- Window of irritation
- Do-it-yourself Unreliable Witness
- Random acts of stationery #9
- Badges? Badges? Yes, we have stinking badges!
- Warning: may contain nuts
- Holy war
- Things to do at 4.00am #2
- While you sleep
March 2007
- Earthbound
- Gatecrashed
- When Irish eyes are smiling
- Unsent letter #4
- Technical hic
- How to abandon a USP, in one easy lesson
- Alphabetti spaghetti: N
- Buy buy buy! Bye bye!
- Of tunnel visions
- Buzz buzz in the eardrum
- Unsent letter #3
- A Little Something
- Old Red Nose is back
- A percentage of perchance
- Back and forth and back again
February 2007
- Strange day (second in a never-ending series)
- This boot was made for hiding
- Smile for the birdies
- Tomorrowing
- Sentences seeking approbation
- They’re gonna put me in the movies
- Nausea, typed in v2.02
- Strange day (first in a never-ending series)
- Honourably swamped
- No ball games, please
- Official: I have delicious brains
- My new appellation
- Daubed in timeless town
January 2007
- Kelvingrove Baby
- Of rings and bonds
- Chasing words is best left to wordsmiths
- Voyeurism for beginners
- Random acts of stationery #8
- (Ad)mission statement
- Filthily depraved uptempo conundrum
- Random acts of stationery #7
- Random acts of stationery #6
- This is not a meme
- Random acts of stationery #5
- Random acts of stationery #4
- Random acts of stationery #3
- Destroy Everything You Touch
- Random acts of stationery #2
- Random acts of stationery #1
- Once upon a blog
- Scrawl me sometime
- Whoring for fun and profit
- Christ on a bike
- Eternal sunset of the idle mind
- In which I sing the poorest song
- This (was never my) Life
December 2006
- One Crowded Hour
- The year of the lost you
- Unsent letter #2
- Animal Fables: Robin
- Oh, you know, festive stuff
- Misfits #3: spoonfuls of spells
- Stranger strange
- Never a crossed word
- Lurking on page 123
- Can I be a blogger when I is all growed up?
- The true meaning of …
- Personality? What personality?
- The Insignificant Awards 2007
- Unsent letter #1
- Suspicious bump?
- You have mail