I am here yet elsewhere. There appears to be not a soul answering my queries on the other end of this virtual postbox, which continues to blush bright red at both their absence and my sheer temerity. Meanwhile, I continue to dwell in circular confusion because bouncing plastic is promising the cheeriest of one-minute responses […]
I can always tell when you think I’ve been neglecting you. Your curves become jagged edges, and your stems suddenly seem to stretch to the skies whilst your drops caress the gravel on the ground beneath your feet. Your full stops become aggravated stabs at the page, and then in the next instant there’s not […]
Be proud. Be this. Be that. Be another. Be something or other. Be anything you want to be, as long as it fits in with me. You’ve got a crooked eye, you say. It’s not crooked, I say. It’s lazy. It simply can’t be bothered. One day it will close up, give up the ghost, put […]
I slept for three and a half hours at the back of my mind, thereby leaving my cerebral cortex free to perform acts of incredible daring as it delved into the withered recesses of my memory, attention, perceptual awareness, thinking, language and consciousness. “Did you find anything?” I whispered, hoarsely. But there was no answer. […]
Did I fall out of bed and land on my head during the night? This can surely be the only possible explanation as to how, in the space of eight short hours, I became an apostle of the Cult Of Positivity. I want a tambourine and an unintelligible chant, and I want them now. Give […]
Sometimes it doesn’t feel as if I can send enough of whoever I happen to be today in a simple envelope. I send you scribbled words on notepaper, I send gifts, CDs I have painstakingly sequenced for you. Yet these are only elements of this person before you. The merest droplets of character. I want […]
Auto colour. Auto contrast. Auto level. (No. No auto level.) Blur. Dodge. Clone stamp. Gradient. Blur. Blur more. Gaussian blur. Add filter. Add noise. Add colour. Remove colour. Add noise. Add dust and scratches. Sharpen. Stylize. I think I’m there now. I am about as far away as I can get from the plain and […]