Archive for the Internal dialogues category

If you asked

My reply would be “Always am and always will be”. Because my reply has always been “Always am and always will be”. Always.

Errata

I think these are prob­ably the reas­ons why I am writ­ing here again all of a sud­den, but I’m not sure. I’m not sure of any­thing right now, to be hon­est, apart from the fact that I seem to have a ball of bile and hatred screwed up inside me, which I’m unable to expel […]

Anyway

Happy Christ­mas, An Unre­li­able Wit­ness. Happy Hol­i­days, if you don’t do Christ­mas. Happy Mid­winter Fest­iv­ity if you don’t do Christ­mas or Hol­i­days or I Don’t Know Whatever Other People Do At This Time Of Year. Res­ol­u­tion for 2013: erase all traces of this fuck­ing site from the inter­net. I really must stop doing this, whatever this […]

Friday

I was look­ing at my elbows. One too many skids along the floor. Skin con­di­tion and hard impact equals a dis­tinct resemb­lance to sides of rare-cooked meat, badly sliced with a blun­ted knife, gath­er­ing dried blood along their many ragged ridges. Now eaten away. Now eaten. The nat­ives were clearly starving and grabbed for any […]

Ti Li Yo Li

the life you live and the les­sons you learn from it the life you live and the les­sons you learn from it the life you live and the les­sons you learn from it the life you live and the les­sons you learn from it the life you live and the les­sons you learn from it […]

Whither tumour? Whither growth?

Do you have that dis­ease? Do you have that raging poison in your veins? Will you give it to me? Will you bestow your dread­ful ill­ness upon this feeble mind and body? Will you course through my blood­stream? Will you beat me into sub­mis­sion? Will you fuck me into oblit­er­a­tion rather than simple obli­vion? Will […]

So on and so forth

Hello. I have been think­ing about try­ing to write here again. Or just write. Any­where. But I am not sure. Not sure. Yet. So. How have you been? I hope you have been well. I have been. I have been some­where. Things have happened. Other things have not happened. And other things have happened in […]

World domination is all a matter of interpretation

They say that I need a plan. Who­ever they are. I say that I have a plan. A twelve-step plan, I say. They ask if I am an alco­holic. I recon­sider my reply. They say that I need a plan. Who­ever they are. I say that plans are for career­ist swine, for cap­it­al­ist scum, for faceless […]

So speaks the voice of experience

Turn left. She is all polite­ness, but laced with the venom of palp­able men­ace. Turn left. Don’t want to. You can’t make me. Turn left. But I prefer the river. You can’t. You can’t go in the river. Why not? I could be quite the most expert of drown­ers. I could suck up city effluent […]

Lost property

And Lady Macbeth, she scrubbed until she bled

I am cer­tain that there are pur­ists amongst our num­ber who will tell me, author­it­at­ively and with an envi­able cer­tainty in their unwaver­ing voice, that white is not a col­our. As such, not a col­our. Whatever it may be then, the per­fec­tion of it irks me, annoys me, makes me shift uncom­fort­ably in my blotchy, […]

Always read the label

You get meth­od­ical. Get your­self a meth­od­o­logy. Packet open. Always read the label. Strip pulled from packet. Read the label again, just to double check. Try and remem­ber. How did you used to do this? You know? Before? The label will say, the label will tell you, the label will keep you coldly informed. So read. […]

Holy war

I let the angels and dev­ils fight it out. Perched on oppos­ing shoulders, facing each other across the cav­ern of my con­fused and rap­idly evac­u­at­ing mind, they pull the split strands of my hair and pinch my ear­lobes, bite my neck and dig their fin­ger­nails into my flesh. I flinch as they kick me repeatedly […]

The year of the lost you

Don’t look back. You only end up get­ting a pain in the neck from all that cran­ing. I don’t remem­ber much of what happened before June, to be hon­est. I remem­ber meet­ing two people with whom I instantly clicked — and as is the tra­di­tional way, with whom I quickly decided I simply had to […]

Oh, you know, festive stuff

That is undoubtedly the best blog post title ever, as I’m sure you’ll agree. It’s just so elo­quent, excit­ing, dra­matic, com­mit­ted. It makes you want to read the words that fol­low. It makes you drool with anti­cip­a­tion, in a way that your eld­erly aunt’s offer of yet another sod­ding mince pie no longer can. Doesn’t […]