This is hopefully going to be a very short-lived series - of one - mainly because I will soon be too old and decrepit to write lists, due to my senile mind failing before the second item.
You know you’re getting old when you go to a hip ‘n’ happenin’ rock gig (oh God, I sound like […]
To those readers who might well be of the opinion that I haven’t been doing enough to maintain this site’s hard-won reputation as the nation’s premier Legblog, I humbly offer the following small anecdote.
The scene: yesterday afternoon, in a grey and uninspiring corridor near to my grey and uninspiring desk, located within a grey and uninspiring […]
Here’s my ironic approach, then. Write an entry for Blogging Against Disablism 2007 in which I blatantly put on display a whole slew of disgracefully disablist words. Shocking though they are - and hopefully you are all nodding vigorously in agreement and thinking to yourself that you wouldn’t dare use such phrases even in private, […]
Despite the number of years that I’ve been wearing this deep groove into the blogging treadmill, I still don’t appear to have grasped the fundamental point that us bloggers are really not half as important as they/we think they/we are. Nor the fundamental point that the sum total of someone’s existence is not greatly enhanced […]
In truth, this strangest of strange days happened one and a half weeks ago, but I still haven’t quite recovered from the fact that, for a few short minutes, I was standing in my underpants (not just my underpants, but my trousers were certainly round my ankles at the time) in front of the ageing, […]
There was a space of between five to ten minutes early this afternoon - as I stood with half my body tightly wrapped in cling film and stuck down with precisely scissored lengths of gaffer tape, having a part of my anatomy encased in a quick-setting mould made from wet elastic bandages, all the while […]
“I hate Macs. I have always hated Macs. I hate people who use Macs. I even hate people who don’t use Macs but sometimes wish they did. Macs are glorified Fisher-Price activity centres for adults; computers for scaredy cats too nervous to learn how proper computers work; computers for people who earnestly believe in feng […]
The morning dawned through the narrow slits in my half-sleepy, half-asleep eyes, and I considered the day ahead. Saturday. There was a nagging sensation, a feeling, that there was somewhere I was supposed to be today. Then it slowly began to dawn on me. I should have been getting dressed up to the nines and, […]
Or to put it in a rather less succinct but more understandable way: Recent Mundane Activities I Have Undertaken For Which I Suddenly Appear To Have Gained An Unexpected Audience (All Apparently Appreciative, Though Varying In Number):
• Sleeping.
• Having a nightmare.
• Eating porridge.
• Standing (albeit on one leg).
• Watching Amelie (again) on DVD.
• Watching Eternal Sunshine […]
So far, I have had to update my firewall and virus protection, install 34 Windows updates (not to mention countless other program additions), remember how to use Wordpress, fiddle about with my wireless set-up, try and figure out how to type on a laptop keyboard again after weeks and weeks using a tiny BlackBerry (a […]
Hello. Yes, it’s me, and yes, it’s been a long time.
I’m going to begin this entry by recycling the closing line of the last one - posted some 114 days ago - albeit with the addition of one word. It seems appropriate, after all.
I. Am. Still. Fucking. Terrified.
That entry announced my return to blogging after an eight-month hiatus. […]