It’s a book! It has blogs! It has shagging! (Oh, it’s actually shaggy, but who has ever let truth come in the way of saying something vaguely salacious?) It has laughs! It has giggles! It has red noses! It comes in a fetching shade of green! It features “blog celebrities”, whatever they are, but more […]
I’d like to begin this entry by offering up an undoubtedly offensive picture of an alcoholic. Why offensive? Well, because the image to the right of this text portrays a classic stereotype of such a person and, as such, is neither big, nor clever, nor intrinsically funny. But in this case I think the picture […]
Last Wednesday, I finally took delivery of my Macbook Pro. Five days on, I think I am finally over the worst stages of simply stroking its surfaces and gazing lustfully at its contours. (You don’t want to know. You really don’t want to know.)
Here, however, is an illustration of the somewhat tragic depths to which I […]
Today has brought some great news for the world of bloggers, blogging and, indeed, bloggery in general. Having recognised the immense contribution that I have made to publicising the weblog medium — thanks to the publication of my rather saucy book Belle de Désastre: Irritating Adventures of a London Wastrel a couple of years ago, […]
It seems that I have won a prize for my blogging. A blogging prize, no less. No, not that one — since, in case you hadn’t noticed, although I may have behaved like quite the dirty little tart before the event, I have not said a word about it since. So it’s not the award […]
Once upon a time, I was that close to working in ‘the arts’. I had a degree in Drama from a university fairly well known for such things, and I was about to embark on a grand career in ‘the arts’, spending my days and nights on artful and artistic projects such as directing obscure […]
No, no, no. This is absolutely, most definitely and completely not a meme. Instead, this is merely some utterly pointless displacement activity to save me from the worst bad mood I’ve experienced since my days trying to maintain a Mr Whippy ice cream van in the fiery pits of hell, and because in my head […]
I used to be a quiet, self-effacing boy who wouldn’t put myself forward for anything, who wouldn’t say boo to a goose. Who wouldn’t even goose a goose, quite frankly. Yet maybe as a consequence of having a rather difficult year in 2006, and now having too much time on my hands and not enough […]
Look, it’s time for some honesty. I’m too long in the tooth to be proud, too far gone to be concerned with attempting to be cooler than cool. So I don’t mind admitting that tonight — in a move echoed across the land by, I suspect, most people of my generation — I will be […]
I have been ‘tagged’, though not in the same way in which a criminal is tagged in order to track their whereabouts when they’re released on early licence. No, not that sort of tagging. Instead, I have been tagged with a meme. Gosh, in all my years of bloggery I don’t think I’ve ever been […]
I have spent the vast majority of today dreading the arrival of the new year. For once, this is not due to immensely personal insecurities and deeply-held psychological fears about spending the next twelve months desperately alone, unloved and unwanted. Not yet, anyway. They don’t generally creep into my diseased mind until some time around […]
Some of my favourite — er, as in least favourite — moments in life have come to pass when online personality tests have sucked me into their malicious, soul-destroying clutches, only to confirm that there was ultimately no need to waste ten precious minutes of my existence to be told something about myself that I […]
I suppose it was inevitable that the choice for the first entry on this part of An Unreliable Witness would end up being between a novel from a Japanese writer or a melancholic song. However, since I’m currently trying to identify the melancholic side of my music collection — and kidding myself that there is […]