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	<title>An Unreliable Witness &#187; Nonsense words</title>
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	<description>Frequently pretentious since 1971. Clearly ambiguous since 2000. Completely and utterly incomprehensible since 2006. Warning: may contain synonyms.</description>
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		<title>He’s got a screw loose</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2009/02/25/hes-got-a-screw-loose/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2009/02/25/hes-got-a-screw-loose/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 25 Feb 2009 22:38:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>An Unreliable Witness</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/?p=616</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When my head imploded, it collapsed in on itself, slumping to half its normal size. It had been young and smooth once, but over the years it had become just one more sagging balloon, wrinkled and drooping at the tail-end of some spoilt child’s birthday party. My shrunken head slipped further and further down into [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
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		<title>Tamper-proof</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2009/01/21/tamper-proof/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2009/01/21/tamper-proof/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Jan 2009 22:20:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>An Unreliable Witness</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/?p=521</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My floor is medicinal. My carpet is chemical. My ceiling is poison. My windows myopic. And my walls, my walls are a punctured, pockmarked epidermis, stretched tight over the crooked frame beneath. Tonight, I pierce them with a screwdriver and watch them bleed down to their skirts; tomorrow, I will moisturise them until they smooth [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
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		<title>These invisible lines</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2008/08/16/these-invisible-lines/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2008/08/16/these-invisible-lines/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 16 Aug 2008 13:09:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>An Unreliable Witness</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/?p=316</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I attempt to lasso the world, twice daily or more. I draw ‘cut here’ dashes around my skull and invite all to delve, safe in the knowledge that anything remotely breakable has been removed for safekeeping. I rope in the sun and daub it with a soldier’s camouflage. I tear the clouds apart. I push [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>7</slash:comments>
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		<title>Scraps of evidence</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2008/04/10/scraps-of-evidence/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2008/04/10/scraps-of-evidence/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 10 Apr 2008 21:48:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>An Unreliable Witness</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/?p=263</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Oh, the plans. The plans I had. Each of them scrawled on crumpled paper, folded and folded again for good measure and secrecy until they bulged with so much promise and barely repressed youthful vigour. Thoughtlessly stuffed in careworn pockets patched over sternums and alongside thighs, warm enough to sleep well — all too well [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
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		<title>Coded promises</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/10/20/coded-promises/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/10/20/coded-promises/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 20 Oct 2007 21:05:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>An Unreliable Witness</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[That’s right, that’s right, that’s you. You come along here, bold and brazen as you like, and you smash glasses, crockery, fingers and thumbs, sticks and stones against the rocks, you break my bones because names will never hurt me, and then you lean forward. Conspiratorially. Warily. Carefully. Cast your eyes into my skull and [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>13</slash:comments>
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		<title>As surely as the sun rises</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/07/10/as-sure-as-the-sun-rises/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/07/10/as-sure-as-the-sun-rises/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Jul 2007 21:34:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>An Unreliable Witness</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[I don’t climb the walls when i wake. No, I wait for them to descend to my level, so that I can rap my knuckles three times on the ceiling, without even stretching, and check that the roof is still present. That doesn’t make sense, however, because last night I slept under a canopy of [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/07/10/as-sure-as-the-sun-rises/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>17</slash:comments>
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		<title>Turnupspeed</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/05/18/turnupspeed/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/05/18/turnupspeed/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 18 May 2007 14:10:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>An Unreliable Witness</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/05/18/turnupspeed/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Blood pumping. Heart racing. Fingers dancing. Keys rattling. Tapping. Not sure. Simply not sure. This is tomorrow’s all day. All our tomorrows could happen in just one day. The ocean is so far away. I keep losing the few wits I have about me any and every time I see another part of you falling [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/05/18/turnupspeed/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>31</slash:comments>
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		<title>The map-reader’s search for co-ordinates</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/04/21/search-for-co-ordinates/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/04/21/search-for-co-ordinates/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 21 Apr 2007 01:43:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>An Unreliable Witness</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[I looked under the carpet, but all I found was fluff and floorboards. I looked in the bottom of my glass, but all I found was a watery reflection. I looked in the envelope, but all I found were letters that fell out into perfectly disjointed words. I looked up at the altar, but all [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/04/21/search-for-co-ordinates/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>15</slash:comments>
		</item>
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		<title>Gatecrashed</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/03/28/gatecrashed/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/03/28/gatecrashed/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 28 Mar 2007 08:42:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>An Unreliable Witness</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/03/28/gatecrashed/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[There are bodies of words all over the place. As I slept — or tried to sleep — last night, they obviously invited themselves round for a party at my considerable expense. They are now sleeping in drawers, in corners of cupboards, behind furniture, splayed lewdly over every available surface. They are breathing loudly, mumbling [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/03/28/gatecrashed/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>26</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>No ball games, please</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/02/07/no-ball-games-please/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/02/07/no-ball-games-please/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 Feb 2007 19:17:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>An Unreliable Witness</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/02/07/no-ball-games-please/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Magnolia is an evil colour. Whichever interior designer it was who first came up with the idea that it speaks of calming and soothing and reassuring and home should be shot in the knees until they dance. Nine months ago, I covered this wall with three pairs of cats’ eyes in different shades of psychedelia, [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/02/07/no-ball-games-please/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>11</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Christ on a bike</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/01/05/christ-on-a-bike/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/01/05/christ-on-a-bike/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Jan 2007 06:54:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>An Unreliable Witness</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/01/05/christ-on-a-bike/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So the fact is that, for some days now, the Lord Jesus Christ has been riding a bicycle up and down the short corridor between my bedroom and my living-room. Being a rather retro Messiah, he appears to favour the classic 1970s-style Raleigh Chopper bike, the tyres of which are beginning to make deep grooves [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/01/05/christ-on-a-bike/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>8</slash:comments>
		</item>
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		<title>Misheard</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2006/05/20/misheard/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2006/05/20/misheard/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 20 May 2006 10:01:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>An Unreliable Witness</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2006/05/20/misheard/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Bulgarian female choirs serenade me in my room, their unearthly wailing almost managing to drown out the Saturday morning shoppers and traffic outside. Sometimes I regret the stupidity that caused me to miss out on learning a foreign language, but not at a moment like this, when I can hear nonsense sentences created in the [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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