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	<title>An Unreliable Witness &#187; Nonsense words</title>
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	<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com</link>
	<description>Frequently pretentious since 1971. Clearly ambiguous since 2000. Completely and utterly incomprehensible since 2006. Warning: may contain synonyms.</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Wed, 28 Dec 2011 17:23:41 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<item>
		<title>Tunnel visions</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2011/06/18/tunnel-visions/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2011/06/18/tunnel-visions/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 18 Jun 2011 19:52:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>vsimons</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/?p=1390</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Sometimes I seem too ordinary. I consider (too much) how I appear to the cameras. Click and whirr, be free my imagination, such as. It is. What little remains. Go. I can laugh at nothing. For hours on end. With dead end echoes for company. Company. I’m sure we all want to hear the joke. [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2011/06/18/tunnel-visions/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>This is a needlessly lengthy title that says nothing about me, my life, my deep-seated desires or my depraved intentions, but it looks clever on paper, even if it does end up completely breaking the carefully designed template of my site — though, frankly, I am past caring if it does</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2010/11/27/this-is-a-needlessly-lengthy-title-that-says-nothing-about-me-my-life-my-deep-seated-desires-or-my-depraved-intentions-but-it-looks-clever-on-paper-even-if-it-entirely-breaks-the-template-of-my-si/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2010/11/27/this-is-a-needlessly-lengthy-title-that-says-nothing-about-me-my-life-my-deep-seated-desires-or-my-depraved-intentions-but-it-looks-clever-on-paper-even-if-it-entirely-breaks-the-template-of-my-si/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 27 Nov 2010 22:51:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>vsimons</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/?p=1312</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So words sit under my skin, making me itch and scratch, making me shake and puke like some kind of recovering addict. A junkie who now prefers one substance to another. Sweats and shits and sickness and soreness. The words, they want to stay there because it’s warm. I want them to stay there because [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2010/11/27/this-is-a-needlessly-lengthy-title-that-says-nothing-about-me-my-life-my-deep-seated-desires-or-my-depraved-intentions-but-it-looks-clever-on-paper-even-if-it-entirely-breaks-the-template-of-my-si/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>5</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Semi-automatic #3</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2010/10/09/semi-automatic-3/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2010/10/09/semi-automatic-3/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 08 Oct 2010 23:45:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>vsimons</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/?p=1294</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[We should grow beards, take up axes and dulled knives, then stab the tawdry natives in their skinny, bone-stacked backs. Don’t look the fuckers in their faces. Don’t meet their gaze. Skin them alive and we can make fires and coats and leather boots. We can stay warm until February, if we’re lucky. Okay, okay, [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2010/10/09/semi-automatic-3/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Semi-automatic #2</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2010/08/29/semi-automatic-2/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2010/08/29/semi-automatic-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 28 Aug 2010 23:03:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>vsimons</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/?p=1257</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This time of night, the paving stones sing to no one and to everyone. They chant their drunken choruses and nonsense rhymes. I wish I was with them, into and without their sweaty torsos, singing meaningless groans and inebriate anthems to the upper floors and the distorted heavens, scudding fast and loose without purpose. Come [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2010/08/29/semi-automatic-2/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Semi-automatic #1</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2010/08/21/semi-automatic-1/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2010/08/21/semi-automatic-1/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 21 Aug 2010 21:10:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>vsimons</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/?p=1241</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I wake with spiders spinning their slithering webs across my eyes, and taste them hatching their eggs on my lazy, lolling tongue. There’s a rolling, salty, dirty ocean dragging my limbs down into its oily depths. I murmur questions and wait for answers. Do you still keep keep your plants in an open-air cupboard? Do [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2010/08/21/semi-automatic-1/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>He’s got a screw loose</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2009/02/25/hes-got-a-screw-loose/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2009/02/25/hes-got-a-screw-loose/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 25 Feb 2009 22:38:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>vsimons</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/?p=616</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When my head imploded, it collapsed in on itself, slumping to half its normal size. It had been young and smooth once, but over the years it had become just one more sagging balloon, wrinkled and drooping at the tail-end of some spoilt child’s birthday party. My shrunken head slipped further and further down into [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2009/02/25/hes-got-a-screw-loose/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Tamper-proof</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2009/01/21/tamper-proof/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2009/01/21/tamper-proof/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Jan 2009 22:20:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>vsimons</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/?p=521</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My floor is medicinal. My carpet is chemical. My ceiling is poison. My windows myopic. And my walls, my walls are a punctured, pockmarked epidermis, stretched tight over the crooked frame beneath. Tonight, I pierce them with a screwdriver and watch them bleed down to their skirts; tomorrow, I will moisturise them until they smooth [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2009/01/21/tamper-proof/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>These invisible lines</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2008/08/16/these-invisible-lines/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2008/08/16/these-invisible-lines/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 16 Aug 2008 13:09:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>vsimons</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/?p=316</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I attempt to lasso the world, twice daily or more. I draw ‘cut here’ dashes around my skull and invite all to delve, safe in the knowledge that anything remotely breakable has been removed for safekeeping. I rope in the sun and daub it with a soldier’s camouflage. I tear the clouds apart. I push [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2008/08/16/these-invisible-lines/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>7</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Scraps of evidence</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2008/04/10/scraps-of-evidence/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2008/04/10/scraps-of-evidence/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 10 Apr 2008 21:48:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>vsimons</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/?p=263</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Oh, the plans. The plans I had. Each of them scrawled on crumpled paper, folded and folded again for good measure and secrecy until they bulged with so much promise and barely repressed youthful vigour. Thoughtlessly stuffed in careworn pockets patched over sternums and alongside thighs, warm enough to sleep well — all too well [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2008/04/10/scraps-of-evidence/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Coded promises</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/10/20/coded-promises/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/10/20/coded-promises/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 20 Oct 2007 21:05:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>vsimons</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/10/20/coded-promises/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[That’s right, that’s right, that’s you. You come along here, bold and brazen as you like, and you smash glasses, crockery, fingers and thumbs, sticks and stones against the rocks, you break my bones because names will never hurt me, and then you lean forward. Conspiratorially. Warily. Carefully. Cast your eyes into my skull and [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/10/20/coded-promises/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>13</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>As surely as the sun rises</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/07/10/as-sure-as-the-sun-rises/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/07/10/as-sure-as-the-sun-rises/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Jul 2007 21:34:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>vsimons</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/07/10/as-sure-as-the-sun-rises/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I don’t climb the walls when i wake. No, I wait for them to descend to my level, so that I can rap my knuckles three times on the ceiling, without even stretching, and check that the roof is still present. That doesn’t make sense, however, because last night I slept under a canopy of [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/07/10/as-sure-as-the-sun-rises/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>17</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Turnupspeed</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/05/18/turnupspeed/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/05/18/turnupspeed/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 18 May 2007 14:10:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>vsimons</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/05/18/turnupspeed/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Blood pumping. Heart racing. Fingers dancing. Keys rattling. Tapping. Not sure. Simply not sure. This is tomorrow’s all day. All our tomorrows could happen in just one day. The ocean is so far away. I keep losing the few wits I have about me any and every time I see another part of you falling [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/05/18/turnupspeed/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>31</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The map-reader’s search for co-ordinates</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/04/21/search-for-co-ordinates/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/04/21/search-for-co-ordinates/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 21 Apr 2007 01:43:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>vsimons</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/04/21/search-for-co-ordinates/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I looked under the carpet, but all I found was fluff and floorboards. I looked in the bottom of my glass, but all I found was a watery reflection. I looked in the envelope, but all I found were letters that fell out into perfectly disjointed words. I looked up at the altar, but all [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/04/21/search-for-co-ordinates/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>15</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Gatecrashed</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/03/28/gatecrashed/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/03/28/gatecrashed/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 28 Mar 2007 08:42:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>vsimons</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/03/28/gatecrashed/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[There are bodies of words all over the place. As I slept — or tried to sleep — last night, they obviously invited themselves round for a party at my considerable expense. They are now sleeping in drawers, in corners of cupboards, behind furniture, splayed lewdly over every available surface. They are breathing loudly, mumbling [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/03/28/gatecrashed/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>26</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>No ball games, please</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/02/07/no-ball-games-please/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/02/07/no-ball-games-please/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 Feb 2007 19:17:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>An Unreliable Witness</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/02/07/no-ball-games-please/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Magnolia is an evil colour. Whichever interior designer it was who first came up with the idea that it speaks of calming and soothing and reassuring and home should be shot in the knees until they dance. Nine months ago, I covered this wall with three pairs of cats’ eyes in different shades of psychedelia, [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/02/07/no-ball-games-please/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>11</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Christ on a bike</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/01/05/christ-on-a-bike/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/01/05/christ-on-a-bike/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Jan 2007 06:54:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>An Unreliable Witness</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/01/05/christ-on-a-bike/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So the fact is that, for some days now, the Lord Jesus Christ has been riding a bicycle up and down the short corridor between my bedroom and my living-room. Being a rather retro Messiah, he appears to favour the classic 1970s-style Raleigh Chopper bike, the tyres of which are beginning to make deep grooves [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2007/01/05/christ-on-a-bike/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>8</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Misheard</title>
		<link>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2006/05/20/misheard/</link>
		<comments>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2006/05/20/misheard/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 20 May 2006 10:01:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>An Unreliable Witness</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2006/05/20/misheard/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Bulgarian female choirs serenade me in my room, their unearthly wailing almost managing to drown out the Saturday morning shoppers and traffic outside. Sometimes I regret the stupidity that caused me to miss out on learning a foreign language, but not at a moment like this, when I can hear nonsense sentences created in the [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.unreliablewitness.com/2006/05/20/misheard/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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