Ghost reader #6
[Click here for the full text of Ghost reader]
[Click here for the full text of Ghost reader]
“Conscience, my old chum, my bosom buddy, my pal, my confidant, my … so how the devil are you? And more to the point, where in the name of all that’s holy have you been, eh? Eh? Eh? I have been doing some frankly sickeningly depraved and despicable things, many of which would make your […]
“Well, I — I — I — I, gosh, Mayor. I’m the mayor. The mayor of London. Like Dick Whittington. How absolutely. Yes. London. Great city. Cradle of — of — of — of — something great. Not sure what. But great, nonetheless. Modern democracy and, erm, civilisation. Or was that Rome? Italian restaurant. Yum, […]
“Ah yes, good evening. Can I order for collection? Thanks. I’d like one no.39, please — egg foo yung. One no.73 — the kung po chicken. Two 137’s — that’s the extra special fried rice with extra rice and the extra special, um, stuff. You know, the stuff I like on it? Oh, I’ve no […]
“Aliens, mostly. Definitely the aliens. Jehovah’s Witnesses, homosexuals, lesbians. I wouldn’t be too sure about the Muslims, though I don’t object to them myself, you understand. You just can’t be too careful, can you? But you can’t say I’m not fair, because an American on the street would, well, you know. I just wouldn’t know […]
“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been thirty-six years, three months and nineteen days since my last confession. Yes, sorry about that. All I remember is a dark tunnel, a sudden blinding light, and then a smack on the arse followed by a lot of crying and howling, and after that everything […]
“Hello, is that the Buddhist Chant Peace and Reassurance Helpline? I’m so glad I’ve got through to you, because I’m desperately in need of some reassurance. Maybe if you could chant to me quietly whilst I sit here cross-legged with my eyes closed and then … what? What do you mean? At this time of […]
“Take that bloke next door, for instance. That bloke next door … I mean, I don’t object to him. Barely know him, in fact. But you know, it’s just something. Something about him. You get that feeling, don’t you? I hear him hammering on the wall ’til late, and then when he sees me in […]