Are you my character witness?

Today has been all about char­ac­ter­ist­ics. I have a lot of char­ac­ter, I guess that’s how I could be summed up. I hope you appre­ci­ate that. I’m not an easy per­son to know, I’ll admit that freely. I hope you appre­ci­ate that too.

I woke up with a head­ache and vari­ous con­flict­ing moods. For reas­ons of pri­vacy, I shall not be reveal­ing details of the lat­ter. The head­ache eased by late morn­ing. The moods? I’ll let you know.

My sus­pi­cions were raised by a large black van parked out­side. If this had been a tele­vi­sion crime drama, I would have star­ted peer­ing out of the win­dow every now and then, won­der­ing if I should call the police to inform them that the occu­pants of the van appeared to be behav­ing strangely. Maybe it was a bomb plot, an abduc­tion or a rob­bery? I didn’t call the police, but I did peer out of the win­dow every now and then. Just to be sure. Regret­tably or for­tu­nately, depend­ing on your per­spect­ive (or your per­spect­ive on my per­spect­ive), it was just a man col­lect­ing some boxes. Every­one noticed him though, I’m sure of it — one tends to notice a large black van in the drive, par­tic­u­larly if it knocks over the “no park­ing” sign when it, er, parks. I am pos­sibly too sus­pi­cious. Must work on that.

I con­versed with myself, just a little. Not too much, because that way lies mad­ness (appar­ently). And it was more in my head than verbally, you’ll no doubt be relieved to hear. It did cla­rify a couple of points, which was all I could have asked of this short period of me-on-me con­ver­sa­tion (me-on-me being the next logical step back­wards after one-on-one, presumably).

Words. Blurred for artistic effect. But then, isn't everything?Words are pre­cious to me. That should be obvi­ous to you by now (and if it’s not, I would respect­fully enquire as to why the hell you’re still here). Yet these same words can be too pre­cious. I don’t want to waste them. In a sense, how­ever, this site — this web­log, to use a phrase with which every­one is famil­iar but that I increas­ingly loathe with a pas­sion — is a waste of words. A com­plete waste. Five days on this page, then gone. It’s very fool­ish of me to squander my words in this way, I suppose.

Sud­denly, this after­noon, I had a rev­el­a­tion. I remembered that to flag­rantly and care­lessly waste words can be good too. It can be refresh­ing and exhil­ar­at­ing. So I car­ried out an exer­cise I hadn’t done since my last year at uni­ver­sity, and wasted words and words and words. Streams of rapid fire vocab­u­lary just pour­ing out of me into tex­tual form. Won­der­ful. Don’t think, just type. For­get about punc­tu­ation, mean­ing, gram­mar and rel­ev­ance (par­tic­u­larly for­get about rel­ev­ance) and just bash away at the key­board. Pos­sessed? Maybe, though I wouldn’t like to use such a pejor­at­ive term. But empty­ing the mind of all those words pro­duces some start­ling res­ults. Try it for your­self, and don’t over-analyse whatever warped and obscure lan­guage spills out on to the page in front of you.

The phone rang. I checked the num­ber. I didn’t answer. I didn’t want to talk today. Any­way, when the call came I was immersed in strange voices, sing­ers like no other. Songs that whispered and shouted, voices that were harsh and rough or as soft as feath­ers. I don’t admire good voices; I admire mem­or­able voices. Sing it like you mean it, damn it, or just keep quiet for eternity.

Where was I? I remem­ber. Today has been all about char­ac­ter­ist­ics, as I said, and I thought that you might like to know about it. You prob­ably didn’t. Or if you did, you’re prob­ably read­ing all kinds of things into what I’ve just writ­ten. How­ever, to be fair, I did warn you that I’m not an easy per­son to know. I’m hard work, but I’m worth it. At least, I think I am.

The prob­lem with hav­ing more than one web­site is that some­times I end up post­ing my words to the more inap­pro­pri­ate loc­a­tion. On this occa­sion, I may have selec­ted the wrong site. Never mind. Just think of this as a tem­por­ary aber­ra­tion; a tan­tal­ising and prob­ably entirely con­fus­ing glimpse of the other side.

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