Consequences #13 — Rodney

He was going to pay. It was just a ques­tion of how …

It’s easy,” Susanne explained. “You just go into the bank and give them the bank details and ask them to trans­fer the money to the account.”

Er … can you do that in this country?”

Of course! Why could you not do it? It’s a mod­ern coun­try, isn’t it?”

Well … what’s wrong with send­ing a cheque?”

A cheque? Are you crazy? Who uses cheques? In Ger­many, we have not for fif­teen years had cheques.”

Ah. But we have, you see. They’ll expect a cheque. Every­one uses cheques. In fact, I don’t think there’s any other way of giv­ing people money, without using cheques.”

But that’s ridicu­lous! Of course you must be able to trans­fer money. You can do it in every other European coun­try. Why not here? Why use old-fashioned things like cheques?”

Ah, well, now you put it like that. Okay, I’ll ask at the bank.”

Later, at the bank, he went up to the cash­ier. It was a sunny Fri­day after­noon, shortly before clos­ing time. She smiled at him.

I need to trans­fer some money to these people. Here are their bank details.”

She stopped smil­ing and looked at him with a twis­ted mouth, like she’d just sucked on a lemon.

Is the account with a dif­fer­ent bank? Then we can’t do that.”

No?”

Well, exactly.

At home, he explained the incident.

But that is crazy. What sort of nineteenth-century set up do you have here?”

Well, any­way, why not just send a cheque through the post?”

What? That’s crazy. It could get stolen!”

Why should it get stolen?”

In Ger­many it hap­pens all the time. Let­ters get stolen or are not delivered.”

But that’s impossible. The Ger­mans Are Highly Effi­cient™ — every­one knows that.”

Well, not the postal service.”

Ah, well, the Royal Mail is pretty reli­able. And any­way, it doesn’t mat­ter if the cheque is stolen.”

Why not? Someone could cash the cheque.”

Remem­ber when you wanted me to cash a cheque for you and I said I couldn’t pay it into my account? I wasn’t mak­ing that up. It’s why each cheque has ‘Account Payee only’ on it. You can only pay it into an account in the name of the payee.”

Ah.”

So he wrote a cheque. You do what you’re used to.

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