I’m in love with a German film star
Let’s get one thing straight about last night’s muted Oscars ceremony (Oscars Lite, anyone?) Reducing the glitz and the glamour isn’t going to save one single coalition soldier fighting out in the Gulf. And while film stars and movie directors may wield enormous influence in Hollywood, a few words of anti-war sentiment in their speeches isn’t going to bring a halt to the bloody events in Iraq.
While the stars milled around patting themselves on the back for their sudden bout of social concern, even host Steve Martin could spot the ridiculous nature of the situation:
“I’m glad they cut back on all the glitz — you probably noticed there was no fancy red carpet tonight. That’ll send them a message.”
And that’s exactly the point. For whom was this muted (well, muted by Hollywood’s standards) show being staged? The troops out in the Gulf? If they could even see pictures from the ceremony, do we think they cared about the Oscars? Were soldiers’ hearts filled with warmth and admiration for Nicole Kidman et al, because they had decided to wear black instead of rolling out their latest absurd designer frock? Such self-sacrifice should really be applauded, shouldn’t it?
Then, of course, there were the acceptance speeches. You and I know that each star is there to pick up an award that could signal the biggest moment in their career, but — bless ‘em — every leading man and leading lady suddenly felt the urgent need to inject a little political concern into their gushing words. So we had Adrien Brody, the winner of Best Actor for The Pianist, telling us:
“… I am filled with a lot of sadness tonight because I am accepting an award at such a strange time … whatever you believe in, if it’s God or Allah, may he watch over you and let’s pray for a peaceful and swift resolution.”
Er, yeah — thanks Adrien. Of course, what this quote doesn’t get across is that this plea was almost an after-thought for Brody, because up until that point he had been prattling on interminably while he thanked everyone from God downwards.
Nicole Kidman wasn’t much of an improvement either:
“I do have to say, it was: ‘Why do you come to the Academy Awards when the world is in such turmoil?’ Because art is important. And because you believe in what you do. And you want to honour that. And it is a tradition that needs to be upheld.”
Yes, Nicole. Art is important. But if you truly think the Oscars are art, then carry on with it. But carry on with it in the same style as ever — ostentatious and ridiculously over-the-top.
So while the pundits were worried that Oscar acceptance speeches were going to be filled with anti-war rhetoric, in reality we were treated to little more than warm words and Hollywood schmaltz. The only winner who had the nerve to stand up on that stage and get righteously angry was, of course, Michael Moore:
“We like non-fiction and we live in fictitious times. We live in the time where we have fictitious election results that elects a fictitious president. We live in a time where we have a man sending us to war for fictitious reasons. Whether it’s the fictition of duct tape or fictition of orange alerts we are against this war, Mr Bush.”
The passion and indignation of Moore aside, however, I think the Academy made a serious mistake in trying to have the best of both worlds — to have a ceremony as always, but cut it down to reflect the seriousness of the international situation. If they had kept the red carpet, the outrageous frocks, the weeping actresses, it would have sent the message: “Yah boo sucks, we ain’t gonna let no tinpot dictator stop the American way of life.” Alternatively, they could have cancelled the whole thing (my favoured option), and the stars could have demonstrated how true their anti-war colours actually are by joining the protestors outside.
But that would have meant losing all those vital Hollywood dollars, wouldn’t it? The Oscars may well be partly about the art of cinema, but it’s also a lot about the business of movies … just like the current war may well be partly about liberation people from a dictator, but it’s also a lot about oil.
Sniff. I’d like to thank Mom, Dad, the Academy, my agent, my dearest friends Michael and Catherine, Celine Dion, all the rest of the cast who didn’t win awards, my therapist, God — and gee, war really is terrible, isn’t it? [speech excerpts from BBC News; entry title by Graybo]