Oh, behave

Men­tal note: Whatever you do, don’t arrive very early for an import­ant appoint­ment, and then spend the next twenty minutes sit­ting in the waiting-room writ­ing abstract, navel-gazing poetry in your favour­ite note­book. It won’t con­cen­trate your mind for what is about to hap­pen. Or, er, maybe it will.

Phys­ical note: If you’re feel­ing the effects of ten thou­sand angry build­ers repeatedly ham­mer­ing away at large metal girders in your head, mak­ing your eyes blur and indu­cing a feel­ing of sick­ness, don’t keep star­ing at your mon­itor. Go home, you pathetic, sniv­el­ling fool.

Aes­thetic note: It wasn’t a very good poem, any­way. Your shirt needs iron­ing, and your hair is slightly alarming.

Musical note: The chord of A Minor, played gently.

Post-it note: Don’t for­get to remem­ber (not that you’ll ever forget).