No sleep ’til teatime

It was a Truly Epic Battle, the likes of which hasn’t been wit­nessed since those inter­min­able scenes in Lord of the Rings in which Frodo, Bilbo, Dido, Dodo and, er, the other one took on the forces of some dast­ardly elvish war­lord with an unpro­nounce­able name. As the hard rains lashed down on the grim west­ern lands of this sin­is­ter and labyrinth­ine city, the forces of Good came up against the forces of Evil. There can be only one, as that bloke with the deep voice used to say on the trails for High­lander.

The forces of Good said, “Oh, go on — stay in bed. It’s lovely and warm in here, whereas it’s cold, wet and windy out­side. You could turn over and go back to sleep right now, with the sound of the rain sooth­ing your tired mind, and then wake up some­time in the early after­noon to watch day­time TV whilst drink­ing tea and eat­ing toast.”

The forces of Evil respon­ded with, “No, you must act respons­ibly. Ven­ture forth into the wind and rain. Go to work, do thor­oughly use­ful things with pages of HTML and earn your­self a liv­ing wage that’s barely enough to cover your monthly outgoings.”

And then the forces of Evil shouted, “Look! Over there!” — and clubbed the forces of Good over the head while they was look­ing the other way, which I’m sure isn’t per­miss­ible under the rules of Truly Epic Battles, Sub­sec­tion III, Para­graph IV (Use Of Com­edy Slapstick).

So here I am at my desk. Gosh, it’s dark out there, isn’t it?